I don't get why I am consistently treated so shitty and left out of people's thoughts. When someone needs help or something done they call me because I'm reliable but when they don't Need something I do not even come up in pass though that is even given to a stray dog. I can not understand how I could have found so many two faced people. Is it because the world is populated by them, am I so gullible that I really just don't get that I'm being used, or am I a bad person at heart that is still really use full to get things done. The fuck, the last one is Lex Luther. Who is Superman in my life then?
I took a look at my relationships and I don't have friends I have clients. And I have a lot of clients and that is the part that messes with my head. So many people come looking for me to do essentially jobs and are happy that I am on top of things. Going with the Lex Luther one (The Lex on Smallsville, not the movie Lex) he had people coming to him for help... but they were bad or desperate people and the good people avoided him after finding out he was bad. The people I'm around are not bad people by any reasonable stretch of the word.
So the last more reasonable thought is that a number of bad people are fucking up my mind and my thinking about everyone. I just can't figure it out anymore.




I am long past the conclusion that I'm supposed to be medicated