ou Know You're a Wrestler When...


you worry about how much your hair weighs

your friends say "i'm starving" n you slap them upside the head b/c they have no idea what they're talking about

cauliflower isn't a vegetable

you can't wait for x-mas b/c you'll get 2lbs.

shoving pieces of tampons up your nose seems normal

you see someone bending over n imagine how easy it would be to put them in a cradle

you know exactly how much weight you lose when you take off your shoes.

you see someone lying on their back n feel the urge to slap the ground beside them

you have to use the bathroom before weigh-ins and the rest of the team hi-fives you for it

you check your weight more than you do your hair

you kick someones ass for saying WWE is real

you put clothes .. bed instead of taking them OFF

you walk into a room where a person is naked, standing on their head, next to a scale n it never crosses your mind to think "why?"

you spot cauliflower ears in public places

you are giving blood n it occurs to you that this may have been a very efficient yet overlooked method for dropping that last pound

you skip a meal n say "i'm not hungry anymore."

you've eaten at every Denny's in California

you can tell the Doctors how far off their scales are

a guy asks to use you to practice his 'saturday night ride' n its nothing sexual

you laugh at people on those CortiSlim commercials (i lost 5lbs. in 4weeks!)

you can be in a room full of boys in their underwear n think nothing of it

a kid comes up to hug you n you need to fight the urge to crossface him

you have muscle competitions in the mirrors of the wrestling room


jello n salad is a gormet dinner

your dad asks you to check the oil n you stare at him in confusion

people grab your biceps not your butt

you know the REAL meaning of a saturday night ride

you can smell your shirt after practice n know who you wrestled

eating is a luxury saved only for the off-season (what off season?)

you wake up under bleachers with men sleeping all around you n even on top of you...n you know your with family

you sleep face down so your shoulders arent down,

You Know You're a BAD Wrestler When..

you know how many lights n ceiling tiles there are in every gym near your home town


the only thing your face has any close reaction with is the mat n your bed