I was watching some super late night TV the other night and this infomercial came on for the "Time Life 70's Music Explosion CD Collection." Usually I would just click to another channel and see what else I can start in the middle of but for some reason I started to get into it and then it all became very clear to me why. Every note from every song that was played seemed to resonate with me to the core. It's not a matter of the songs being good or not and it's not even that I especially like the tunes..
It's a matter of feeling
When I hear these songs it immediately provokes a feeling of intangible emotion. It's not so much a happy/sad thing it's more of a sense. An impression & awareness that you've forgotten about over time. The songs speak a truth that brings you right back to the moment in time when you originally heard it. I mean you really get this feeling like you're there again ... summer nights, riding a bike, the smell of freshly cut grass, dirty hands & innocent love. Most everyone was your friend and you actually knew who your enemies were.
And it's not that I'm living in the past cause I scorn that and everyone knows it. I'm always trying to be innovative, progressive, aware of new music, trends & technology, etc. But these ways generally tend to send me off with no feeling, no warmth & basically seem to leave me colder when it's over.
Things are different now and that's ok. It's the difference between cassettes & CDs. It's the difference between analog & digital. It's the difference between typewriters & computer keyboards. It's the difference between film & memory sticks. It's the difference between a dictionary & spell check. It's the difference between a note book & a hard drive. It's the very big difference between a long term friend & a new acquaintance you think you like.
I'm not married & I don't have any kids so for me I've kinda been caught in the middle of the natural progression of life. Most people tend to grow out of this "longing for a feeling" stage and busy up their lives with a job, wife, house & kids till the feeling dissipates. -- a normal progression and good for most of us. I don't feel I have any real friends, well maybe there's few, and I haven't been able to hang on to anyone I had believed I've loved the most.
I guess for me I'm looking for that feeling again. That comfortable & favored feeling but with someone to live it with. That is the ultimate state of being. That is your so called "soul mate." She has to make you feel good like that because in her you know you have a future. She's on your team, she's your best player, your heart & your partner. I thought I had this once. She was a lot younger than me but I kinda liked that cause it sorta brought back that feeling of innocence, excitement, passion & camaraderie I once knew. I wanted to do anything for her & it wasn't a drag. It wasn't perverted (well maybe a little sometimes.. haha) but it FELT REAL and that's why I loved it so much. She actually made me feel happy without doing anything at all cause it was a feeling, not a method.
xo,
j