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Johnny Monaco_Super Villain or Olympian?



Last Updated: 12/16/2009

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Status: Single
City: Bartlett
State: Illinois
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/10/2004

Who Gives Kudos:


Tuesday, October 24, 2006 
Every time I go to Woodfield Mall it's like a big pain in a**.  You gotta have like this big strategy just to go there, park, find your way in, then find the right store, sizes, styles, etc.  And of course you gotta talk to people and that's a whole job in itself.  Then these "vendors" come up to you that run those little huts throughout the middle of the mall where people walk.  As if there isn't enough stores in the mall now they need stores between the stores.  And it's always stupid shit like those helicopters that you wind up and throw in the air and fly right back to you ... or movie posters, cheap jewelry, knitted long socks, wooden back massagers, sunglasses, sports memorabilia, silk shirts, ties, hats, etc..  And they try to bargain with you so the price on the tag is not what they really will sell it for.  It's like Tijuana when you first go over the boarder and you can buy crucifixes, fireworks and like piñatas or knives.
 
So I go into Hollister & I'm talking to this boy 'employee'.  All the people that work there wear the cloths from the store and they are all fairly good looking.  They all got like a whole motif/outfit going on, with like a hat, fitted T-shirt, button down retro shirt over that, "destroyed look" $80.00 jeans, boxer's sticking out, etc.. It's actually a lot like talking to one of the mannequins.  I mean they're trying to help but there's nothing behind the eyes.  It's like a blank stare only to be interrupted when there's a need to talk across the store to their fellow "hot" employee or to put on the next crappie, whinny EMO tune on the store's digital juke box.  So I'm talking to this product of our down-dressed, lack luster, mono toned singing, retro button-down shirt wearing, should be in school @ 1:30 PM, neatly trimmed eyebrows Abercrombie looking metrosexual and I go ...  "All the guy's jean's cuts are like real straight and boxy.. and you know how girl pants are cut & taper slimmer, flair out at the bottom, etc."  I explained the whole thing and he goes...  "Well do you like holes, like holes in the pants?"  So I say..  "Well ya I guess but I'm talking about the cut."  Then I physically show him on the mannequin, like actually grab the pants and show him what I'm referring to and he's looking at me like he totally knows what I mean, nodding his head, direct eye contact, agreeing with me, etc. and goes... "The first section all have the holes"... LOL.  It was like talking to a fawn or a hot yet dumb girl.  You can't get mad at them cause they're so good looking that it's almost ok but at the same time you're kind amazed in the response.  I for sure would have yelled at a fatty.  And that's probably why the hire so many good looking people, it's just less trouble and almost gives them the 'pretty right' to be sorta dumb.  And then there's always the solo store manager who seems like he has it together a little more but is so drunk with power that you really don't actually speak to them just their pretty minions.  So I ended up getting these other ones.
 
They're ok I guess ... not "fitted" like I wanted but cool for what they are I guess.  I really wanted to get like a whole 'outfit' going but I couldn't force myself to do it.  I mean I guess it looks cool and all if you're a cast member on the "OC" or standing in line getting a new color case for your ipod but it just seems so conforming & unoriginal to me.  I don't remember when it got cool to where your dad's 1970's button-down midwest boating shirt but evidentially it is and it's pricey too.  On the plus side I got a pineapple/peach smoothie at Surf City Squeeze that absolutely crippled me it was so good.  A very creamy & refreshing drink. 
 
 
j
Jinx

 
Oh man, why the fuck don't you go to Woodfield with me?!?!? I could have helped you buy clothes and make you look cute.......damn you Johnny and I love Surf City. I go to Woodfield sometimes JUST to get a smoothie. I used to work at Hollister - it drove me insane being the smartest person in the store. The good thing about being smart there is that I was able to steal one of those kick ass manequins. Yes, I stole it and I'm not ashamed. They are owned by Abercrombie and they do only hire hot people and they have this bad habit of sticking the uglier employees in the back room. They consider Hollister to be the more economical version of Abercrombie. Nice blog as always J, you're really very entertaining. Next time you go to Woodfield pick up the phone and dial 630-917-jinx (5469) and we'll go together I swear it will be fun.
 
Posted by Jinx on Saturday, December 04, 2004 - 4:03 PM
[Reply to this
Christiana

 
You write blogs exactly the way you talk. I swear while I was reading this I could hear you telling the story. Very strange. Malls suck. The last time I was in one, I was in Lucky Jeans looking for a sweater they had with tattoo style barn swallows on it. It matched one of my tattoos. I asked some stoned kid if they had it and after he was finished drooling some answer he says to me "You look pretty cool... How do you get over a hangover?" I said "Don't drink". I don't think that was the answer he wanted. Endless post over... As you were...
 
Posted by Christiana on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 6:06 AM
[Reply to this
Gary James
gary jakresky

 
Hey there fassion victim!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was having the same problem finding jeans for
our last show at Dirty Nellies last Sat. I was at Fox Valley though. Anyway
I came across a store called Buckle. They were a little understaffed and I
have no time to wait but they had kick ass jeans that flaired cool at the bottom.
I tried them on and was looking for a black shirt with red pinstripes to match my guitar.
I couldn't find one so I just went to the counter where the guy was stuck ringing up people
and couldn't get way from the counter to help. He asked if I needed a shirt when it was
finally my turn, I said you don't have what I'm looking for.He could have left it at that but
instead says you might be supprised what is it your looking for? I said black shirt with
red pinstripes and sure enough he found it!!!!! I went to 7 stores looking for it! They have
pretty cool stuff and at least tried to help and know the're inventory. and it's not as busy
as woodfield.
-G-
 
Posted by Gary James on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 9:29 PM
[Reply to this
Lee

 
levis 517 vintage orange tag...ebay
 
Posted by Lee on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 10:29 PM
[Reply to this
m
Mike Camacho

 
thats what u get for going 2 ambercrombie.....preppy store *shakes head*
 
Posted by m on Saturday, October 22, 2005 - 1:52 AM
[Reply to this
Wildcat Angel

 
john john john... if ya want whats in try WAL MART!  or better yet a second hand store!  not meaning to come arcross as harsh or bitchy.. but I cant aford the cool stuff so i go to my local second hand store i can can get some awsome stuff for cheap!  ( or you could always go to walgreens! lol sorry twisted humor again!)  I hate going to those stores and getting mobbed by the commission saels people or the mental cases... sheesh do i have STUPID on my head?  then again its hard to find ladies jeans that fit right I mean sorry but i like to breathe!  ( be glad you are a guy john...)  laters peace!  ps sahre the drink dude!!! 
 
Posted by Wildcat Angel on Monday, December 05, 2005 - 8:57 PM
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