Who Can Stop the Blame?

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Blaming is one of the most common, if not THE most common, communication error that people make in their marriages. It is so ingrained in our communicative make-up that many people don't even realize when they are blaming. We like to blame others for our misfortune, our failures, our negative feelings, our mishaps. We really like to blame our spouse, whether it is their "fault" or not, for these things as it is a surefire way to deflect responsibility away from ourselves. When we do this we mistakenly think that our spouse will take responsibility for the situation and the discussion will be over. But how can you expect them to take responsibility for their actions when you can't take responsibility for your own actions?

The characters in my book "Relationship Magic" are experts in the field of blame. But what they need to realize is that there are reasons they blame each other for their unhappy marriage and lives and that these reasons hold no blame to anyone.

The reason they blame each other is because as children, that is what they watched their parents do in their own marriage. They were not "modeled" productive communication that uses empathy to promote understanding. Once they realize that the reason why they are using blame in their marriage it is now time for them to accept responsibility for their behavior and commit to making a change.

Do you use blame in your marriage? With your children? For life in general? If you use blame at any time in any life situation you should probably examine the reasons why you use blame. And if you are ready to stop blaming and start taking responsibility, "Relationship Magic" can help you to gain a better understanding of yourself so that you can eliminate the fear associated with taking responsibility for your actions.

"Relationship Magic" understands blame, fear and how to make love work.