Hello. How have you been? We over here at Hemingway have decided to put up four new songs to coincide with the staggering amount of releases we have coming up. Some on tape, some on cd, and all off the hook (that was Demian's joke), they are as follows:

1. "All Clean Necks" from our upcoming split with Triumph of Lethargy

2. "Magisteria", an addition to our upcoming ep "A Second Thin Skin"

3. "The Bowl", which is out now on our 3" cd release "The Landlord, Dr. Islam"

4. "Darkside", from our upcoming collaboration with Japanese author/poet Kenji Siratori

Plus another song from our ep, and one from our split with Sparkle Girl. Please enjoy them as they won't be up forever.
It's not like we're taking them down in 72 hours, but if you put off listening to them now you'll get wrapped up in other stuff and before you even realize it you're 20 years older, the boss won't stop razzing you about not coming in on weekends, the Pontiac's tires need to be replaced, and the kids never have time to call anymore unless they need money.

And here is where you can purchase our available products.

We would like you to send us a copy of Gremlins 2: The New Batch. DVD preferably, but any format will be appreciated.

We have Two New Contests, and by that we mean one. But with two winners. Each of our songs corresponds to a painting by an artist we like. Many of them have silly names, which is merely coincidental.
Send us the names of all six artists and you will get a tape, copy 1 of 1, with some sort of nutty packaging and a big congratulations from us. It'll be the greatest secular holiday gift you'll receive all Solstice.
We have two different tapes, so even if you come in second you won't be the first loser. That'll be the third guy.

We have a new band member, the Digitech JamMan. This will allow us to somehow rock even harder, which modern science thought impossible.

Has Raffi ever written a song better than Bananaphone?

We have some big news coming soon, but no one ever gives a shit when they read that.
Just post the big news, right? Why waste everyone's time. No one likes a cocktease.
Well, we're so fucking sorry, your majesty.