 I made this MySpace Music Player at MyFlashFetish.com.
Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 34
Sign: Leo
City: The ATL
State: Georgia
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Friday, July 11, 2008
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Category: Romance and Relationships
Well, since I'm such an irresponsible adult.... the following blog is rated
Still, I'm gonna treat this blog like the box office that DOESN'T check IDs
[which is why my cousin can still access it].
BTW ladies - just b-cuz my cousin's allowed in here DOESN'T mean that
it's LEGAL for y'all to make suggestive comments to him over the internet [even as a joke].
Granted, the age of consent in The State Of Maryland is 16----but, y'all AREN'T in his face!!!
OK, let's begin!!!!
This is a tag blog called Sex 101 that I stumbled across a few weeks ago....
& no, I'm NOT tagging anyone [feel free to tag yourselves if you'd like].
1. This is an experience where you were having sex & something happened that embarrassed you....
but the sex was good/great that if had the chance to change it....
you would do it all over again – embarrassment & all
Hmmm, an embarrassing experience that I'd do all over again????
OK, let's go back to the very 1st time that I had sex.
Here's what happened....
I asked my friend (Roo) if I could borrow his house
[b-cuz his parents were outta town & I wanted to be alone w/ my ex-girlfriend].
BTW - Roo's one of the guys that I made the infamous bet w/ that led to my being devirginized.
I DIDN'T think that it'd be enuff for me to say, "Y'all gotta pay up b-cuz I fucked my ex"....
I knew that fucking my ex in a bed that was in the house of one of the guys who'd bet me
would be the EASIEST way to leave NO DOUBT as to what I'd done!!!!
Roo was cool w/ letting me borrow his house for the afternoon....
so, he left the place unlocked & told me which bedroom was OK for me to use.
Then, I promised him that I'd be outta there by 2:15 [when school let out] b-cuz
he said that his grandmother [who was watching the place] would be back in the afternoon.
Roo was like, "My grandma is here visiting from Portugal.
Whatcha gotta understand about her is that she's still set in the stone age
where she thinks that Black people are slaves.
So, try your best to be outta there BEFORE she comes home.
If you're still there when she walks into the place----then, she might have a heart attack.
So, if sumthin' goes wrong---just tell her that you're the maid & everything oughta be OK.
I'll just explain it to her when I get home".
Sometime during the day, I DIDN'T think that my ex & I were gonnabe able to make it over.
I was having an impossible time trying to find a ride [b-cuz the senior BBQ was that day].
So, I told Roo that we'd probably NOT end up going to his house as originally planned.
But, later in the day, my ex & I decided to go over @ the last minute
b-cuz my friend (Kate) offered to give us a ride....
unfortunately, we DIDN'T tell Roo that we'd changed our minds.
So, Kate drove me & my ex to Roo's house @ shortly after high noon.
When we got there----my ex & I chilled out for a few hours [just talking about "us"].
Then, we started messing around, things escalated to foreplay, she gave me a tongue bath,
& I officially got myself in the coochie @ exactly 2:15!!!!
Sometime, shortly AFTER 3 PM----we heard a voice yell from downstairs,
"Emery, is that you"???
It was Roo [and he wasn't alone b-cuz we could hear somebody else laughing]!!!!
Even though my ex & I were in the middle of fucking----I screamed, "Yeah, it's me"!!!!
Then, Roo said, "I thought that you WEREN'T coming"???
To which I responded, "Well, I am now"!!!!
Now, folks, I WASN'T really coming per se----I was just being funny while hittin' the skins.
Then, I decided to get even MORE comical w/ it by saying,
"Come on upstairs, have a seat, & watch"????
That's when my ex pushed my off & said,
"I CAN'T believe that you just invited him upstairs".
Roo [and whoever was w/ him] declined to come upstairs & watch....
they just ran outta the house laughing.
So, of course, my ex & I went back to our fuck session.
@ 5 PM, I got home & my phone was already ringing off-the-hook.
EVERYBODY was calling me [girls & guys alike] b-cuz
Roo had gone back to school & told everyone that he caught me having sex in his house.
Muthafuckaz were even driving to my house & knocking on-the-door to ask if it was true.
But, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.
2. This experience you would never do again....
& if you had the chance to erase it out of your life/memory....
you would take it
The ONLY time that I tried to have sex AFTER getting piss drunk (I think that I was 19).
My ex [a different one] & I killed a case of Coors between ourselves BEFORE going upstairs.
Everything was going great....
EXCEPT for the fact that her jealous kitten kept jumping on my ass & meowing.
I'd gotten myself into the coochie & was JUST STARTING to hit it....
but, then, I suddenly felt the urge to urinate.
So, I said, "I'm sorry----but, I've gotta go to the bathroom".
I went to the bathroom, urinated [a long 8-ball piss], flushed the toilet, &
suddenly noticed that my johnson WOULDN'T get erect anymore [b-cuz I was too drunk]!!!
I tried to beat my meat----but, NOTHING was working.
Unfortunately, I had to go back into the bedroom & tell my ex that I COULDN'T get it up.
She was pissed off & told all of her friends about it the next day.
After that----I knew that I could NEVER date another chick that I went to HS w/ ever again.
3. Where is the most embarrassing/dangerous/revealing place
you have ever had sex????
I'm talking church, library, airplane, bridge, elevator....
I'm not talking somewhere safe like a tent in the woods people
Outside during a thunderstorm [with lightning flashing all around us]
near a big ass tree w/ our bodies pressed against a large metal fence
w/ 4 houses around us that had their windows wide open as well as their lights on.
It WASN'T hard to see us out there.
This is definitely one of the DUMBEST things that I've ever done.
4. on a scale of 1-10, how much do you love receiving oral sex?
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you love giving oral sex?
Are there any considerations or something that will
stop you from giving oral sex
(like a new partner, blackberries, earning your red wings,
you don't want to be a member of the yeastie boys)?
Receiving oral sex is a 10 for me.
Giving oral sex would rate as a 9 for me [only b-cuz it's NOT being done on me]....
but, I absolutely LOVE the taste, smell, & being squirted.
The things that would STOP me from giving oral sex are
a foul odor, STDs, bumps that AREN'T goose bumps, a menstrating female, cold sores,
abrasions, the sight of a penis in my face, puss, farting [and I DON'T mean quiffs either].
5. Have any fetishes you are willing to disclose????
Do you get off on leather, women's shoes,
licking your lovers toes, golden showers????
I could go on – but I think you get the idea
I DON'T really get off on leather
unless it's a super-skin-tight leather dress that hugs the hell outta chick's plump booty.
I also CAN'T say that I've tried the golden shower....
but, surprisingly, it's NOT sumthin' that I'd shy away from if my woman asked me to try it
[though I'm sure that 99.9% of the people reading my blog WOULDN'T go there].
However, if you read my Encyclopedia To Deez Nuts blog (4/3/08)....
then, you already know that I have a serious fetish for
Pretty Painted Feet/Toes
Huge Knockers
 & banging a butt naked chick that's ONLY wearing Stripper Shoes 
6. What type of sexual games do you play?
Do you ever play with toys, how about dress up?
How about play doctor? Do you use props?
What's your favorite sexual game?
Ever traced the alphabet with your tongue?
I DON'T play alotta games in bed----that's NOT really my cup of tea.
If anything, I just try my very best to turn my house into a XXX set &
make the sex as close to what you'd see in a porno movie [as humanly possible].
Yes, I play w/ toys----but, they're NOT sumthin' that I use 99.9% of the time.
I've NEVER played doctor----but, I'd be down w/ it as long as
my lady was dressed as a slutty nurse w/ her boobs busting outta the outfit.
I DON'T really use props----but, I'm down w/ handcuffs & having sex in front of a mirror.
& yes, I've traced the alphabet----but, my own style is soooo much better on women.
7. Vanilla, chocolate, or bubble gum?
If you're unsure what I mean here....
Do your consider yourself VANILLA
(meaning missionary sex, once a week, with your husband/wife,
and then fade off to sleep after a possible orgasm
by one or both of you, if any)????
Or are you CHOCOLATE
(meaning switch it up a little, bring in some toys,
have sex during different hours whenever the mood hits, and always an orgasm, maybe a couple for both of you,
with sex whenever the mood hits, maybe once a day/night)???
Or are you BUBBLE GUM
(anything goes, swinger, multiple partners,
sex several times a day, multiple orgasms,
own every toy or gadget known to man or don't need them)???
Hmmmm, I'm actually a mix of all 3....
I'm VANILLA in the sense that I DON'T have sex nearly as frequently as y'all would think.
Sex really ISN'T that high on the totem pole, for me [even though I LOVE it].
To tell you the truth----a woman will usually initiate the sex @ least 75% of the time w/ me....
but, that's b-cuz I like aggressive females.
But, I'm CHOCOLATE in the sense that there are times when I'll surprise the hell outta you
by having spurts where I'll suddenly [unexpectedly] take the initiative & do it in bunches!!!
You'll think that I injected myself w/ a drug & will be like, "Damn WTF has gotten into you".
& when that happens----I'll have sex @ any time during the day!!!!
I'm also CHOCOLATE b-cuz I've mastered the art of having a simultaneous orgasm &
learned a long time ago how to make a woman cum once every 5-7 minutes.
Unfortunately, I'm NOT really BUBBLE GUM when it comes to having multiple sex partners.
The ONLY exceptions that I'm willing to make are
when I'm either single or doing sumthin' sexual w/ pornstars.
Yes, I'll go to a swinger club w/ my girl----but, ONLY females are allowed to touch her....
furthermore, I WON'T even allow those females to touch me
[unless it's to rub my skin OR they're feeding my johnson to my girl].
When I'm w/ you----then, I'm w/ YOU!!!!
Fucking in front of an audience is really the ONLY reason why I'll go to a swinger club.
However, when I'm REALLY in the mood----then, my BUBBLE GUM side DOES emerge.
You WILL have multiple orgasms & [believe me] they WILL come once every 5-7 minutes.
As y'all know----I'm a math geek & according to my calculations w/ ALL sex partners had....
for every 15 minutes of penetration w/ me---a lady will sleep for ONE hour after we're done!!!
& when she wakes up----there WILL be times when I'll be ready to go 1-2 more rounds.
I DON'T need toys to give women this kinda satisfaction----I'm already working w/ enough.
8. X-X-X been there, done that?
What was the first sexual item you have ever bought
[excluding KY Jelly at Walmart....
I am talking your first trip to the sex shop,
the adult book store, or that intimate catalog online?)
As for XXX.... the answer is yes & no.
No, I've NEVER officially been an actor on a XXX set nor have I videotaped the act yet.
But, if you read my blog from 6/4/2008 as well as the one from 11/20/2007....
then, ya know that I recently was forced to ACCEPT that
I've had a 3some w/ a pornstar & her girlfriend [even though I DIDN'T fuck either chick].
Yes, the whole act was videotaped by someone in the room & I dunno where the footage is.
Also, several pics were taken & 95% of them I DON'T even own!!!!
So, I guess that it's safe to say that I've done AMATEUR porn w/ a PROFESSIONAL pornstar.
There's no way in Hell that I could EVER run for public office now
[b-cuz I know that the photos/video would surely surface & cause a sleazy scandal].
As for the 1st item that I ever bought @ a sex shop.
LOL - it was a SILVER CHROME VIBRATOR!!!!
If you've been reading my blog for a while....
then, you can probably guess [pretty easily] which chick I bought it to use on.
But, I DON'T wannabe accused of bragging for the 1000th time----so, I'll give a clue instead:
9. One, two, three, four, five?
Come clean – have you ever experienced group sex,
ever partaken in an orgy or ever wanted to?
Ever had a Menage-a-trois? Ever been at a bath house and not known how many you have partaken of?
Group sex????
Ummm, NOT according to my standards.
But, on @ least 2 occasions, I've had a group of people watching me have sex [of some type].
Have I ever partaken in orgy or ever wanted to????
No, I've NEVER actually partaken in an orgy----but, I must admit that I've wanted to.
Ever had a menage-a-trois???
1st of all, I always thought that this was the same thing as group sex [or is it].
2nd, I coulda sworn that I already answered this question in number 8.
I just ALWAYS told myself "no" b-cuz penetration WASN'T involved.
But, a considerable amount of folks have helped me realize that
if it counts for lesbians & bi-chicks----then, it counts for me
[b-cuz I'm a lesbo too since I ONLY like women].
As for the bath house stuff.... WTF kinda question is THAT????
No, I'm NOT Greek & though I am a caesar----I DIDN'T descend from The Romans.
10. Bareback or Brokeback?
Tell the truth----do you lay rubber (safe sex)
or are you in a committed relationship?
Do you prefer not to lay rubber?
Are you bareback or brokeback?
If you are into the southern route do you use a dental dam?
Honestly, I can only think of 3 instances where I've actually used a rubber.
Though I strongly ENDORSE safe sex when you're NOT in a monogamous relationship....
I still must say that sex w/ a rubber just DOESN'T compare to bareback sex whatsoever!!!!
It's like tryin' to compare ant hills to The Himalayas.
1st of all, I'm very selective about my sex partners &
it's RARE when I fuck someone that I HAVEN'T known for a considerable amount of time.
Yes, I'm a risk taker in alotta ways----but, when it comes to sex....
I prefer to sleep w/ women that I'm 100% sure have my best interest @ heart
[the kinda chicks that WOULDN'T be cruddy enough to endanger my health & well-being].
2nd of all, I try NOT to stick my johnson into
women that I WOULDN'T wanna have a baby with!!!!
Sure, I've done it a few times----but, DON'T think that I HAVEN'T beaten myself up over it.
As for using a dental dam....
I must admit that I'm ahelluvalot MORE liberal w/ carpet munching than I am w/ vaginal sex.
Even though dental dams are for safe sex....
personally, I DON'T think that I need to be putting my mouth on a woman
if I'm THAT worried about catching sumthin' from her!!!!
Therefore, I've NEVER bothered to use dental dams while going downtown.
I like the taste of a woman's body too much.
As for brokeback????
Fuck no!!!! Never have, never will, DON'T like to think about it, & I DON'T wanna see it.
5:37 PM
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