Boundaries.  Some people don't respect them.  Those people are called "hippies".  No seriously....I fucking LOATHE hippies, but they're not the problem.  

ONE certain hippie is and she tried to sneak back into my husbands life this past month.

OK....Quick history and then we move on to the funny stuff.

Years ago, my husband's mother was friends with a sea hag called Anna.  She is a performing monkey, who writes and sings terrible folk music.  She is my

age and evidently, like myself, has a "thing" for the youngin's.  Particularly the blond/blue-eyed Aryan variety.  She trolls the local folksy, hippie

scene for some poor, unsuspecting young man with a penis, then POUNCES!!  The amazing thing is that she actually catches and devours said creatures at  

all, for she looks like a cross between a Yeti and "Aqualung" from Jethro Tull.  Here, see for yourself....








No,  friends... I am not threatened by her Helen of Troy good looks.  Nor her amazing musical ability to write 137 songs, all in the key of "G".  No, no....I am not

threatened at all by her.  What I AM is hugely pissed off by her lack of respect for boundaries.

See, she is married.  And she and her husband are "swingers".  They are also nudists.  And they're BOTH bi-sexual.  And if you have ever seen a real

live, practicing nudist, bi-sexual swinger, you would want to wash your wash eyes with hydrochloric acid.  These are people who enjoy living in an

abandoned school bus.  Bathing only when the moon is full.  And they not "real" hippies, because they have over 30 different web pages devoted to

networking with "other" swingers.  True hippies would shun the use of technology, preferring a more natural method to find like-minded hippies to have

sex with, like sending smoke signals or bird calls...right??  They truly believe that crop circles are created by space monsters.  Their favourite book is "Jonathan Livingston Seagull".  They think the

dolphins are talking to them.  They use aloe vera leaves for toilet paper.  And the worst part is they have that "holier than thou" attitude where they

believe themselves to be the ONLY people on the planet who care about love, peace and the plight of illegal aliens.  I read a quote of hers from a recent

blog and I am paraphrasing here, but it went something like ..."There are stray cows, burros and weather systems that come across our borders from Mexico

without passports, why does no one make a fuss about them"?  You get the picture, right?  yeah......free love for everybody.  whoopee.  Back to the

swinging...

My opinion is , if your require multiple partners, just to get off, then you have some "issues".  I don't roll that way and I feel uncomfortable around

people that do.  Sorry.  Call me a prude, but I don't share.

And YES, she has biblical knowledge of my husband....Several encounters, in fact.  One was a three-way with her AND the husband.  I chalk it up to all

the drugs he took back in the day.  either way, that's his past, and he has no regrets.   

And I don't have a problem with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends or shit like that, because I am CONSTANTLY flirting with my ex, Phil.  Phil knows I am only

kidding around about wanting to "blow him"  because I give terrible blow jobs, as evidenced by the 20 year old scar on Phil's penis.  I took a chunk out

of it one night, and although he may have forgiven me....He will never forget!!

Plus, Josh knows that I am deeply in love with him and I am strictly monogamous.  So there is no worry there.  Now...all of MY exes respect the

boundaries between us.  They make no attempt to "rekindle" anything.  The past is the past and that's that.

However.....for sea hag, it's different.  She wants what she wants and will not give up until she gets her way.  She is obviously unsatisfied with her

current husband and has been carrying a torch for mine for years.  Even wrote a crappy, poorly recorded song about him.  (You wanna make your spine

itch??...Go to her page and listen to "Tender Touch".....www.myspace.com/1357919651962     )  She has been in love with him for a long time, and years ago, she wanted him to move in with her

and her creepy husband, in some sort of weird, hippie love triangle thingy.  Well, he didn't go for it, and then he met ME and I am NORMAL and we had the

kid and so forth and so on.

So, here we are, 5 years later and sea hag decides she wants to move back to Texas and reunite with Josh again. I, just happen to see a message from her

to him, wanting to be added as a "friend" on his MySpace page.  I know what y'all is thinking and that's not how it went down.  I was NOT sneaking

around....I swear.  I literally just happened to be on his page and I found her request.  I figured I would play along, just to see how far she would go

and after two VERY revealing emails from her, I knew I had to "nip this in the bud".  So, I kinda made her disappear.  I really wish she would come back

and prove me wrong.  I wish she would let everyone know how unnecessarily paranoid I have been.  How I am jumping to conclusions, etc, etc......But she

never did.  She ran as fast as she could, with her very large, flat, mushy tail between her legs.  So, I ask you.....was I wrong??