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There is an old saying that goes; “how
can you go back to the farm, once you’ve seen the lights of gay Perris.” Yet in
less than 48 hours God willing I will be back in good old North Carolina. My
home and my birth place. I can’t believe it, but this is it ladies and
gentlemen, my last blog for awhile. I know, I know, whatever will you do
without my adorable musings. For the last several years I have been away from
the party life, from going out every night, and I substituted my animal lifestyle
for one behind the keyboard. I joined every social networking site I saw and
copied and pasted my erratic ramblings across the inter-webs. Now I am off
across country (again), and I’m not sure as to when I will be able to set up my
desktop next. I don’t particularly care to access my shit from other people’s
computers, so you providing my plane doesn’t crash it may be a few weeks or
even a few months before I’m settled. Who knows where I will be or what will
have happened. It may be a few days, a
few weeks, or a few years. I have to work some things out and figure out where
I went wrong. There is a lot that I have been going through mentally over the
last few months and hopefully I can work some of it out before I make it back
out to the Left Coast... And let it be known I will return. I will not accept
defeat. I will not be beaten by California. I have had a lot of wild and crazy experiences
since I left North Carolina. I can’t believe I’m even going back. In the
meantime there are a lot of friends that I have missed and that hopefully have
missed me. Those of you that give a fuck be ready when my plane touches down,
and those of out that have been happy to have me gone, start quaking in your
boots. I would like to say thank you to those who have helped me along through
the last bit and to my former lover and forever friend who brought me out here.
I wish that I would have been a better hustler and more adept to making shit
happen. I kind of lost interest after you left and I just gave up. Next time
kid.
The universe is weird the way it
works. I never expected to make it this far. When I was 16 my high school
teachers all agreed I would be lucky to reach 18, but I proved them all wrong
by reaching 31. I have fought tooth and nail to get as far away from those days
as I could. The pain of loss, and rejection, has driven me, now they drive me
back home. I would laugh but only to keep from crying. The sweet sticky
California bud is rolling round my mind now guiding my hands across the
keyboard as it has so many late nights blogging till I fell asleep. The future
is uncertain, but then again hasn’t it always been. Years ago when I stepped
out of prison on the faithful mountain in Ohio I had no clue as to where I was
going to end up. Since then I have lived in New York, Atlanta (twice), St.
Louis, and now Oakland, California. And I did it with the help of friends, and
people who loved me. I hope to see the rest of my days the same. I feel
something is pulling me backwards though, as if I need to be home to set a few
things right The Universe doesn’t like unfinished business after all. So until
we speak again-keep up the Monkee Business.