We had two potential winners last Monday night:

This was the runner up:
"My date got high on pot, then took me roller-skating. I had never skated before and struggled to stay on my feet while he kept saying, 'what's wrong, with you? Why can't you skate--you should be institutionalized.' "

Ah, the harsh judgment of the pot-head.

The winner was one of the more physically and morally disgusting bad dates we've ever had:
"I had food poisoning while on a date in Munich and crapped my pants. Embarassed, I just abandoned her at the restaurant, went home and got cleaned up. It was early so I went back out to a beer garden. And she was there. I fumbled and told her the truth, but she did not believe me. She knocked my beer over on me, swore vehemently in German and walked away."

So many mistakes, so little time.

I will now make this post's mood "quixotic", because I have no idea what that emoticon looks like. Is there also one for "Dickensian"? "Hemingway-ish"?
"Danielle Steele-y"?