Fathers Day.... maybe one of the worst days of the year... something mostly ignored by my family... because incase you didn't know my dad died a few years ago of cancer and a few months before that my grandpa died of cancer.... so we don't really have a reason to celebrate it.... and ya we just act like it's nothing... like it doesn't exsit... but it's kinda hard... for one thing... it's my sisters birthday today... the same day as fathers day... so you know why looking at cards for my sister i found all these cute fathers day cards... and i was awww that's cute.... aww i would so give this to my dad.... and then you know we went out to lunch and everyone was there with their dads... and us no.... and ya i had this idea to go buy ballons and we wrote on them with sharpies and sent them up into the sky... so that was kinda cool... but still it does suck.... i mean even for other families it's a bad holiday..... cuz almost no families are perfect... i mean it's almost imposible to find a perfect one... because fathers leave, cheat, die, get sick, abuse people, are drunks, drugies or some other shit..... and that's not something to celebrate... but yet we do.... and why i don't know... and yes yes yes there are good fathers who do deserve to be celebrated and stuff.... but i think they're a dying species.... like my dad and grandpa were amazing... but life's a bitch and took them away.... so you know what.... and ya we still think about them... alot... but today just made my mom... alot... and i bet it's going to make my grandma sob.... and it's even making me sad and pissed... in case you haven't noticed... i mean all it is, is something for hallmark to make more money.... which is bullshit... erg.... this world makes me so mad..... well i bet that was as confusing as hell but i needed to get it out... and express my feelings on that... so there.... now i feel a tad bit better.... but not really.... blah