"And lo, when the Jan passes by, there will be a mighty rumble, as though a thousand elephants were falling down a hill.  And the sun will be blotted from the sky by the wings of a thousand ravens, and the hearts of men shall quail, and the hearts of women shall flutter (and then quail), and even the hearts of quail shall quail, and the souls of the weak shall be snuffed out like candles in the wailing wind that follows his passing.  Then shall be the time of the Jan, when he rises from the earth and takes his two thrones, one for each thigh.  And then the world shall weep."  - From the Book of Jan.  Also known as the NecronomiJan.

So ja, the Jan is being back.

I was being thinking to myself this morning, "You know what?  I am going to be kicking some ass today.  Ja, what the hell.  Let's go make some widows."

At first I was going to be doing the time trial on a unicycle, with one of those rainbow clown hair wigs, just to prove that the Jan could do it, but then I thought, no, it is being the time to get serious.  There are being many doubters of the Jan, and they are telling him that he is being too fat, and too old, and that his is having way too many sexes with the hot Italian chicks and that he is simply being too handsome to go fast anymore.

And the Jan is almost believing them.

So the Jan is thinking, why don't we just open up the throttle a little bit, and see what I am being having in the tank.  And it is turning out that when the Jan decides to start crushing souls, there are being no motherfuckers that can be hanging with him.

Ja, the Jan is a little fat.  Ja, I am not on my form yet.  Ja, I am not even close to peaking.  But the Jan decided to give you all a taste today, to let the twin towers of doom out for a little air.  And the Jan is being getting closer to form every day.

Marinara boy, the Jan hopes that you are being enjoying your time in the spotlight.  You should be living it up to max, bro, and having the good times.  Because the Jan is not going to be fucking around in July, and after today, you are being on notice.