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freeman fisher


Last Updated: 9/21/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 26
Sign: Aries

City: Harrisburg
State: Pennsylvania
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/3/2005

Who Gives Kudos:

L to the Izzo (2)
Monday, March 31, 2008 

Current mood:  fabulous
Category: Life
ok, no patent pending here or anything. i guess i’ll just hope that no one beats me to development, but i had to share this with everyone immediately. i’ve invented a great new er uh invention that allows women to pee standing up. it’s called the uris-straw, and it’s basically a tube that you affix to your urethra (or anyone’s urethra for that matter. you can even plug each end of the uris-straw into two different urethras and have a pissing match if you’d like!). maybe you’re thinking: you mean a catheter? the answer is: no, i don’t mean a catheter. while it may be eerily similar to a catheter, the uris-straw comes in a variety of vibrant colors or pastels, and is available in any length or gauge. it actually works just like a real penis! also, already in development is a new uris-straw that actually looks like a real penis! you’ll never have to sit down to go to the bathroom again. imagine the other benefits of uris-straw. in addition to the various lengths already available, we also offer the extender tube. with the extender tube, you can pass urine directly into the bathroom toilet, all the way from your living room without missing your stories! or you can pee on people yards away, should it be your prerogative to do so (and in the near future, miles away)! plus the wider-gauge uris-straw is perfect for anyone with a case of diarrhea or individuals who subsist solely on laxatives. i’m going to rummage through some trash around the city tonight; the uris-straw ought to be in production by tomorrow. comment below to reserve one for you or a friend. or for you and a friend. in fact for roommates, we have a dual-head uris-straw, with two inputs and only one output to cut down on stream traffic around the toilet bowl area. or if you live by yourself, but have two bathrooms*, you can reverse the dual-heads to make them dual-ends, and pee in two toilets at the same time! the possibilities are endless**! get yours today***!




*viable also for 1.5 bathrooms
**virtually endless
***tomorrow
Currently listening:
The Bedlam in Goliath
By The Mars Volta
Release date: 29 January, 2008
7:03 PM
 
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L to the Izzo

 
i'd love to pee standing up. this is for me. a guy i know said he wanted a longer penis so he could dangle it over the edge of his bed so he could piss without moving and not have to lie in his own filth. he would love this as well.
 
Posted by L to the Izzo on Friday, April 11, 2008 - 1:36 PM
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f r e e m a n
freeman fisher

 
i want a longer penis, too. and sharper. so i can stab individuals.
 
Posted by f r e e m a n on Friday, April 11, 2008 - 3:04 PM
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