It seems a bit strange to start up a blog when according to this site, we have zero friends. But the members of Spork have never been worried about making things like "friends," or "money," or "humorous jokes." No, Spork has always been about so much less than that. So, what you won't find here is a long list of reasons why you should be a Spork Friend (or, as one of our loyal fans once put it, a Spork Dork). For example, you won't see something like "By becoming a Spork Dork you will receive a free Spork fleece and scarf and matching Trapper Keeper." Not only because we don't buy our friends here at Spork, but also because the only Trapper Keepers we have don't match the fleeces or scarves that are currently in stock. In fact, we are so confident in our ability to not need friends, that we think this nonchalant attitude will actually result in an avalanche of friendship heretofore unheard of by science. We believe that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people out there who will want to be friends with a group such as ours that is inherently not in need of so many friends. It will be oxymoronic and paradoxical and possibly quixotic for those people who live near windmills. It will be useless to resist us! We will soon rule the WORLD! AHHHHH-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAA! Seriously, be our friend. Thanks, Blair from Spork