OK, SO I JUST DECIDED TO MAKE THIS LIKE A REGULAR NEWS COLUMN.  i've gotten some very interesting responses on this blog so i wanted to just always add to it.  from now on, i'll add the date and info...new events at the top.

MARCH 25, 2007 - STOP REQUESTING "SMACK THAT"

well, its been a while since I did one of these but after the last few weeks, I figured it's about time.

So let me begin by asking, when's the last time you went to a hip hop club and DIDN'T hear "smack that" by akon? You really dont need to bug the dj about this, I think he's got it covered at some point in the night. And on another note, related to this same song request...DO NOT be talking on your cell phone in the club when you walk into the dj booth trying to request a fucking song. Even worse, do NOT do all of the above when one of the owners of the club is in the booth with me, just not a good situation for you...and if I didnt stick up and say you were cool, your ass woulda been gone...I shoulda just let him kick your ass out.

Now, a quick note to all of you who pull the "jump shot" when you hear Jim Jones come on...when's the last time you played hoops? Do you own a basketball at all? Just wondering...thats all.

Ladies, please know the name of the song you're requesting when you wanna request a song. Please do not come to the dj booth and attempt to sing in my ear...seriously, just don't. At the very least, at least know who sings the damn song you wanna hear. Come on now, is it that hard to remember that it was SNOOP fucking DOGG that did "beautiful" and not doctor dre?? Now, keep in mind, the dj booth last night is pretty much near floor level but that doesn't mean that you have the right to just walk on in...and when I don't turn around right away BECAUSE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING MIX...DO NOT...I repeat...DO NOT grab me by the arm. I mean, I don't come to your work and start grabbing your arm when I need my drink refilled, do I?

so now, let me think back two weeks, I'm walking into the parking lot and this car is pulling out. I'm walking alone, this (white) guy sticks his head out the window and says to me "you need to step yo game up nigga." haha, are you serious? I do? I need to step MY game up? Now, let's think about this for a minute. I'm walking to my car at the end of the night after working and getting paid. You are in your car, most likely after driving to the club, waiting in line, paying to get in, paying for your drinks, probably buying drinks for girls like the sucker you are...and now you're in a car FULL OF GUYS going home...and I'm the one that needs to step his game up? riiiiighht!!! You go on home, blast the stereo in the car with all your boys, holler at girls in the cars next to you in your last desperate attempt and then go jerk off to the porn thats already in your DVD player...and then I'll attempt to step MY game up...playa!

so here's a short list of tracks you do NOT need to bug the dj about:

smack that - akon
i wanna fuck/love you - akon
stay fly (ballin) - jim jones
sexy back - JT (yes, people still request this)
say it right - nelly furtado
london bridge - fergie
last night - diddy
snappin (buy you a drink) - t pain
buttons - pcd

DEC 31, 2006 - ICON ULTRA LOUNGE

so, during the daytime, some friends had some issues about where to go, others had issues with friends flaking out so i did what i could to smooth out everyones situation and hopefully could create some new friendships in the process.

for those of you that havent been to the new icon lounge at 8th n folsom, its really nice.  a great intimate spot, and i look forward to spinning there in the future.  i wanted to get to the club early to hang with some friends and relax a bit before i got on at my original start time of 11:30pm.  there was a slight miscommunication among the parties involved and there was basically no DJ scheduled from 10-11:30pm.  the opening dj had to leave and i wasnt supposed to go on for a bit.  one of the dj's from the other room stepped in to cover the slot but he wanted to borrow needles.  i pulled out my needles and then he asks for headphones.  now, its ok to use my needles...although, i'm not usually big on "sharing needles," but i told him i dont ever share my headphones.  thats kinda nasty if you ask me...the sweat and oil from someones face, ears and neck all on your leather headphone cups...then rubbing on your face, ears and neck...no thanks.  apparently, he didnt like that and grabbed his stuff and left the booth.  i guess he had the mentality of "i'm trying to help you out and if you're not tryin to share the headphones, then you can fuck off."  now, first of all, i didnt ask him to help...all i wanted to do was talk to management and find out how they wanted to handle things...once i spoke to them, i agreed to just start an hour early, no big deal.

now, i came to the club with 2 friends...kira and jen (names have all been changed to protect the innocent who cant handle their liquor, haha).  literally, by the time i got to the club and the time i got on, the girls already had gotten a buzz on.  they kept tryin to get me to drink but at that time, i just needed to focus on the music a bit since i was a little stressed on the whole situation.  soon after that, more drinks were all around, they brought me a pineapple something (note to anyone who would ever like to buy me a drink, please dont get me anything with pineapple).  few mins later, they brought me a jack & coke plus a bottle of water...much better, thanks jen. 

now, enter lisette, another friend who's friends all flaked on her.  usually this wouldnt be a problem except that they all had a table with bottle service reserved...and it was all on her credit card.  so now she's stuck with a $500 tab and nobody to roll to the club with (seriously, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THAT TO SOMEONE AND NOT FEEL A BIT GUILTY?).  i texted her that i had some friends and that they could all hang together.

kira and jen proceed to get pretty faded, somehow, kira lost her digital camera and soon after, she lost her shoes too.  further into the night, she lost her cookies...and from the looks of it, she had noodles for dinner, hahaha (sorry if thats a little too descriptive).  somewhere thru the night, jen and kira got into an argument and jen decided to leave, she got picked up by a friend...exit jen.  so now, lisette is stuck taking care of kira the rest of the night and its still just after midnight...and i'm scheduled to be there til 3:30am.

so now onto the dj booth escapades.  first of all, NOBODY requested sexyback all night, i couldnt believe it.  however, this one girl kept coming to the dj booth requesting "wind it up" and "yummy" by gwen.  i told her i'd play them later on after midnight but she wasn't tryin to hear it.  what is it with girls who wanna get instant requests?  later on, she comes back to make sure i'll play them both...umm yeah.  later on, she comes back to say her friend wanted to hear "fergalicious."  umm hey sweetie...you mind saving some requests for the other guests please?  so just before midnight, i turn the music off and say how we got 2 mins left and this was the last song i picked to listen to for 2006...we stay fly by jim jones...the place goes nuts.  20 secs before midnight, i cut it off and make them countdown with me, 12am hits, i play "one more time" by daft punk, 1999 by prince and just a bunch of 80s "feel good" tracks.  one guy comes up and is apparently mad that i didnt play "BALLIN" for long enough.  ok...first of all, its NOT called BALLIN...please learn the names of your favorite fuckin songs.  seriously, if you like a song, buy it, download it, watch the video or something...do whatever it takes to actually learn the fucking name...really, its not that hard...millions of people do it all the time.  somehow, i just picture this guy in his car listening to the radio and just turning it up when "MY SONG" comes on. BALLIN became his favorite song one night at a club when it was played and the dj cut off the part and the whole crowd screams out BAAAALLLINNNNN!!!!  now please keep in mind, there was another room that was pretty much all hip hop and i was in the big room spinning a variety of everything but mostly hip hop.  if you didnt like what i was playing, you didnt have to sit and cry about it, you CAN go to the other room.  i'm sure they woulda been willing to play some mac dre and some chicken noodle soup for you, haha.

so, when i finally played "wind it up" the girl comes up and starts complaining how i havent played "yummy" yet.  jeez, can i get a fuckin minute?  maybe about 20 mins later, i finally play yummy, 3 songs later, that girl comes up and asks when i'm gonna play it.  when i tell her i just played it, she tells me she missed it and i should play it again.  i should back it up a bit...earlier, she told me that if i played those songs, everyone would shake it...she guaranteed it.  good thing she showed up...i woulda never guessed they'd all shake it to some of the biggest tracks out right now...thanks baby doll.  after she told me how everyone would shake it, i smacked her on the ass and asked if she would shake it too...cuz she did that to me earlier when askin for a song.

next up, someone who came out expecting to hear some house music from me.  now, i fully understand how someone might assume whenever i spin that i'd play house but i actually get booked for hip hop more than dance/house.  this girl was apparently an expert on clubs and dancefloors cuz she said if i started playing house, they'd all go nuts.  she also proceeded to tell me how she hasnt been clubbing in like 2 years.  much respect to her for being a trooper, i told her i'd play some house after 2am and she stuck around.  thanks for the patience.

so 2am hits and she' in my face to play some house...there goes the patience, haha.  i finally get into some dance music and literally within 2 songs, this girl is on the side of the booth, climbed up on some sofa tryin to get my attention...note:  this is NOT how to get the dj's attention.  i just ignored her...sorry.  she finally comes to the booth and tells me to play some hip hop...umm excuse me?  where the fuck have you been for the past 4 hours?  can these folks get a couple of songs before you start buggin?  realistically, nobody's really used to hearing hip hop in SF after 2am anyway and i had made up my mind that around after 2am, i was gonna do all house music.  there was only like 20 or folks left at that point anyway and they were all groovin to the house beats.  i figured they deserved at least 30-40 mins worth after a whole night of mostly hip hop.  by this time, kira was completely passed out and asleep in lisette's reserved table area...after throwing up a second time.  all in all, a great night for me with no major problems for me and i can say it was a very fun night and a great ending to a great year.  i do feel bad for lisette who had to babysit kira but hey, at least she'll never forget this NYE, right?  thanks to all of you who came out and i wish you all the best in 2007...thanks for being a part of an amazing year in 2006.

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pt 1

alrighty, here goes...

seriously, do you really need to come to the dj booth at 10pm and request this? do you think we WONT play it? do you really wanna hear it at 10:30pm? come on now...its the biggest club track out right now...original or any other remixes...IT'S GONNA BE PLAYED...most likely toward the end of the night...and thats it.

ya know whats gonna happen if we play it for your ass at 10:30? someone is gonna come in and request it like 20 mins later and then complain that they didnt get to hear it...relax...you'll fuckin hear it and most likely, it'll be just the right time...and dont give me the bullshit excuse that you're gonna be leaving to go to another club...thats not my fault. realistically, by the time you get there...THAT dj will be playing it. if you choose to be between clubs when it gets played at both spots...you fuckin lose, plain and simple. buy the fucking cd...

sorry i'm venting but it needed to be done. last night (saturday october 28), this chick comes to the booth during the 3rd song we're playing and requested it and goes on to tell us that "all the girls will go crazy, trust me" haha, really? you think? then she comes up to me and tells me to tell lorenzo to play it, then she comes up to him 3-4 more times during his set...BITCH, DO YOU THINK WE DIDNT HEAR YOU? if you really MUST hear a song immediately, there's one way to get it played...TIP THE DJ BIG, haha

now on friday night, when i'm opening up for dj premier...this girl...a cutie...tells me that he's spinning too ghetto and tells me to tell him...tells me to tell DJ PREMIER to play promiscuous. first of all, i had already played it...2nd, I'M NOT TELLING PREMIER TO PLAY A DAMN THING

so while i'm at it, here's a few songs that you DONT need to request at a hip hop/mainstream club
sexyback
promiscuous
buttons
dont cha
get low
yeah (usher)
crazy in love
hips dont lie
in da club (yeah yeah, its ya birthday)
bossy
money maker

ok, i think i'm done...i'd love to hear some thoughts from djs and party people

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pt 2:

alrighty, the last time i did this, i got some great responses from everyone. judging by the responses, i figured i'd never get asked for it again. i was wrong...sooo wrong. here's a little ranting from this otherwise great weekend...this one's not so much a rant/vent session like that last one but more of a rundown of some of the funnier stuff that happened this week. i think i should do a weekly "club chronicles" type thing =)

wednesday was pretty good, nothing unusual except for this one guy...he was very persistent about hearing some mac dre and "bay shit." he kept coming up to the dj booth, over and over...he even became a bit aggressive to the point that our main dj had to yell at him and say "LOOK, I HEARD YOU!!" the guy backed off a bit...but ended up getting himself kicked out. now seriously, if you're 5' 2, DO NOT get aggressive with the dj or anyone in power...not a good idea. other than that one guy, no probs on weds.

friday night...now this was good. apparently, a few people came out on friday that read my last rant cuz they came and requested justin very early but then laughed about it. this one girl came up and was about to request something and then i said "yes i'll play sexyback," and then i laughed. she stops and said "oh my god, how did you know?" i just looked at her and said "i just know." and then started laughing. next up, this couple, the girl was from atlanta or alabama, she of course wanted to hear something "crunk" from "the south." now, looking at them, i would equate this to someone from ran rafael asking for mac dre or "bay shit." anyway, so the guy comes up to me later on to ask for "i wanna fuck you" by akon. now, i would totally play this song and was actually planning on it shortly but this guy came up and said to me "hey, how much money would it take to get you to play i wanna fuck you?" i figured i would toy with him for a bit so i responded with "well, how badly you wanna hear it?" he said "how much do you want then?" i told him "dude, just throw a number at me." now, this is the good part...he steps back, digs into his pocked, i see him sorting through some bills including 20's so then he hands me a 5 and 5 ones...then tells me "here's ten bucks." he's holding the money still and says thanks and then asks me to play it next. "say what?!?!" i told him i'd play it in a few songs and then his grip tightened and said "no, play it next!" i took my hand off the money and told him "just so you know...it would take a lot more than 10 bucks to make me play something NEXT! most folks would start at 20 bucks on up to $100 to hear something next" now it gets even better, this motherfucker tells me "take it or leave it." i didnt even respond, i just gave him this crazy look and turned away...now, he could see on my serato that i had his song highlighted but once i turned away, i moved it to another track. you could hear him groaning, haha, that was classic. later on, he came back and added A WHOLE DOLLAR to his total so he comes at me and says "ok, here's eleven bucks." i was laughing inside so hard that i just took it and played it within 3 songs...classic stuff. the only reason i even took it was cuz i wanted a great story to tell you all today =)

still on friday...so this whole bunch of guys had bottle/table service near the dj booth and they kept buggin me to play "shoulder lean" by young dro...yeah, typically something i'd play all the time right? (rolls eyes) now, i dont know if they all got together and had a meeting about the one song they'd ALL request or what...but if you wanna hear the song that badly, you know what to do to get it played. seriously, if there's like 8 of you doing bottle service and you're acting all big like you're fuckin ballers or something...you can toss a lil something at the dj. on top of that, one of the guys, when he came up to me, his GRILL came flying out his mouth and landed somewhere underneath the mixer...he's pulling out his phone using the light to try and find it. finally, i spot it under the mixer so i tell him to get me a napkin cuz i aint touching that shit. now, this is how big a "playa" this guy was...he whoops out a $20 bill to let me use that as a napkin. i get his "teeth" out and hand it to him and he grabs it and the $20...what a bastard. you could at least let the dj keep the bill...whatever. much love to frank and infinite sf for a great party.

saturday...i wish i had some funny stories for saturday but everything went pretty smooth. one thing i thought was great...after my set was over, we made an announcement saying for the first 20 girls to the dj booth, you get a free mix cd. HOLY SHIT...all these cute girls in nice clothing suddenly turned into cage fighters, pushing, stomping, elbowing and climbing their way over other girls to make their way to the dj booth. last night was one of those nights where everything was just on point. the crowd was packed, they all looked good and they were on the right vibe. enough to have me get away with playing stuff like DONT STOP BELIEVING & JESSE'S GIRL, and had the crowd singing along. i actually played the original versions of both of those, no remix, no mashup...straight original. big shout to dan of vee-eye-pea, j-styles, catarina, dominic and the rest of the suite 181 crew.

and thats about it, hope you all had a great weekend...i sure did