Can someone please tell me when exzackly I entered the freakin Twilight Zone?

There is so much crap on my mind right now it's about to friggin explode... and I can't go into detail, so I am just going to ramble in this random blog, (that no one reads much anyways) Things like this just don't happen to me....

I don't want to jinx anything that... may be happening?

Not that I would know where to begin...

A lot of it is unfortunatly negative thoughts about myself, my worthyness... I dont know... insecurities, and disbelief are raging.... thats one situation. And I think that sums it up....Oh and being scared to death of all the what ifs going thru my mind....  some of  you will know totally what I'm talking about here... ;)

the other is something that I will prolly only ever discuss with certain people, right now there are two. And its not that my friends won't listen, I know you all care, but right now its just very personal. Ha I have to laugh at that, cause the one person I've been talking to is pretty much a complete stranger. Lets just call it a little introspection, self examination, deep thoughts. A broadening of my horizons.... maybe.

I realize this makes no sense to anyone that may read it, but it helps me at least get the thoughts out of my head a bit. And if you read this, thanks. =)

P.S. dont try to read to much into this, I am not suicidal, and I was only joking about hanging myself with that mic cord last week. I'll be just fine...