Bear in mind this note carries some sarcasm and  isn't meant to offend anyone (since weight is always such a touchy subject as it is).
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After a long day at work, I took off to the nearest Joseph A. Bank to take advantage of their three suits for $450 sale.  Considering I only have two (respectable) suits in my wardrobe, the thought of more than doubling my collection had me a bit giddy.

I arrived to size up the suits and was greeted by a friendly sales rep.  We started with a 38 jacket which fit...okay.  Then went down to a 37 jacket which fit better.  Then a 36 seemed to be the perfect fit (yeah, surprised me too since I am normally a 38) .  Nice and snug, yet with enough room to move unencumbered.

I was informed that they'd have to order the proper suits in my size since they didn't carry many 36s.  I was in no rush with no pending job interviews.  But as the salesman dug into the situation a bit further, it turns out that only certain colors are available in 36 or 37.

And that they would only be the three button variety.

And that the pants may be pleated.

And that any other style suit in those sizes would be more expensive.

Suddenly, this deal was a deal no more and I was walking out the door suitless.  Why must I be limited to such few choices based on my body composition?

Before I called Papa Worm to express my dismay, it dawned on me how ironic of a situation I had just experienced.  For once, I was too skinny (or short?).  Not just too skinny for football or too skinny for women to routinely jump my bones (sarcasm, remember?), but too skinny for proper clothing.  A sad day indeed.

So the next time you're wanting to drop a few pounds or cheering on contestants in The Biggest Loser, just remember the skinny guy doesn't always win.

Off to roam the wastelands before writing a policy,
Tapeworm.