How many weeks have I done this? How long has it gone on? Some nights I try to think back on it and it feels like it's been a few months, but in reality it's been years. I don't think most people realize what it's like for me... all the peaks and valleys... all the incredible nights just make every night that's smaller all the more unbearable. I find myself constantly wanting more... and I know it's not healthy or realistic. I spend my entire week waiting for Friday... and then when it comes I'm overwhelmed... I end up in my own world. Then, before I catch up with everything going on around me... it's over... the lights are on... the people are leaving... I've barely gotten a chance to talk to anyone... and I crawl in bed hoping to fall asleep before the sun comes up. I wish I could find my balance again. I want to feel at home at my own nights. I want to feel like a part of the crowd again.

I'll let you in on a secret... I'm just an incredibly self-conscious and socially awkward kid who started a dance night three years ago as a way to meet girls. Nothing has really changed.