why do i have to be the nice person, why do i pay for phones, and con leaves, and gas money to places i dont even go, or phones that i dont use because you wont let me fucking update them. or your bills that im not even there to fucking use. why do i have to go and do the right fucking thing, and you can just go do whatever the fuck you want to because you know ill cover  your asses.  im tired of all the people that think that they can run all over me  fyi i dont have money coming out of my fucking ass.  if you were a real friend you would just fucking say ok i cant do this.  here go update your phone so you arent wasting anymore money than you fucking have to.  here you go somewhere, and ill pay for it, because you paid for me last time.   why do you think that you can just take advantage of me and be nice to my fucking face and then talk about me behind my back.  fyi one of you need to learn the difference in the definitions of attached and obsessed.   trust me im not obsessed, because if im obsessed and pissed i can make your lives a living fucking hell and make sure people fucking hate you.  ask people from my past.  trust me i can fucking play too.  i know entirely way to much.  much more than yall think i do.  so keep avoiding me.  you want me to be obsessed i wont be i have much better uses of my time than to fucking deal with it.  i want to go off for the weekend but i dont have any money hell ill just ask heather for it.  she never says no unless she really doesnt have it.  i need help on this bill because i spent my money on shit i didnt fucking need. you need to get your heads out of your fucking asses because its assholes and bitches like yourselves that turn the nice people into being fucking bitches and assholes.  im one of a kind.  im not afraid to say what i think, and i hope you know im not.   i may look like shit and i may not always do the right thing hell everyone knows im a disappointment and that you dont fucking want me around unless it fucking benefits you, well guess what i am strong enough to stand on my own two feet without your help.  im nice to you for the sake of trying to keep the peace.  you wonder why im always fucking gone, but when im there all you do is fucking put me down.  sorry im not your favorite, sorry im fucking independent enough to tell you what i think knowing you wont like it.  sorry i call you out on the things that you do wrong.  sorry im not your perfect fucking person.  why cant you just accept me for who i fucking am.  i do shit for you all the time, and you take advantage of it, then you try to turn it on me.  i do what you ask and you want more.   you cant take my personality or my soul from me.  you can try as much as you want and you can put your face behind a glass wall and imagine that im what you want that im perfect but last i checked im doing pretty good for myself.  i make my own decisions and stand up for what i believe in and i try to do the right thing.  sorry im only but 20 like i know what im going to do for the rest of my life all i can do is trial and error, and so what nothing has worked out for me, but im already doing better than you were at my age.  so what im not your perfect go to church do what i say dont do anything radical and be oldfashioned type of person.  last i checked at least im not afraid to be myself around anyone.  ok so i went off on a tangent anywho.  i told you where i was and who i was with out of courtesy but no thats not good enough.  i cant pick my friends i cant live the life that i want to live sorry im not living your dream.  find someone else to pick on.  leave me alone.  but wait thats right you need someone to pay your bills when you cant afford it because you do shit that you dont need to do.  thats right you only want me around when its to your benefit.  why do you feel the need to lie to me i know that you wont do shit for me that you do for the others im not stupid.  but why does it have to be big things why do you think i wont find out .  i know a lot more people that you think i do and i can find out anything i need to know.  you wonder why im not like other people.  people that you approve of, but why cant you approve of me, why cant you just accept me for who i am, because im not going to change for you. sorry its not going to happen.  i dont even know why i care what you think.  i pay your bills and you say that ull pay me back or take it off my bill but then you need it again.  so all in all you just use me because i have what you need.   why dont you go buy my a car, or sign for me.  no you wont and you say its because of my past.  fyi  no its not its because i didnt move with you when you wanted me to, so that you could get more money, and you lied to people to get them on your side.  i would hate for people who think that you are so great to see what you really are.  all my true friends see it why do you think they dont like you.  why do you think they choose not to talk to you??   so just let me live let me be myself and stop putting me down because ill stop being the nice person, and one day ill snap and stop biting my tongue and tell you what i really think. why do you think i never come to you for anything.  why is it that other people take your place of where you should be.  so fuck this im done being the nice person.  im done lending money, and giving rides, and calling people because the phone works both fucking ways its your turn to call me.