I went into a deep, deep funk Sunday afternoon when the effect of the House of Pies run wore off and I realized Joe wasn't going to return my calls that day. I was hoping he would ring ME for a change and we could hash out all the issues I've been having with his assistant Mr. Bitchy Britches. I'm growing weary of talking to machines when I have so many ideas I want to run past him. I think I could do a way better job than Sir Snothead and working closely with Joe would give him the chance to see my inner beauty. To pull myself out of the depression I decided to map out my route to his show in El Mirage on October 29th. I heard Murphy's Cafe has great food but I figured I would need to make a few pitstops along the way. I went online and found a Foster's Freeze AND a Dairy Queen !!! I can't wait to have a Peanut Butter Shake at Foster's and Buster Bars at the DQ!!! Woo Hoo!!! Next, I started trying on outfits for the show. Last payday I bought a Cowboy hat just like the one Joe wears and a pair of red velour slacks. When I asked Ingrid if the new pants made my butt look big she replied in that sarcastic tone of her's , "No, your fat ass makes your butt look big!" That sent me into another dreadful depression. Somedays I just want to strangle that f*cking cat!!!