Joe's show at Murphy's Cafe out in El Mirage was so good and Joe looked so HOT!!! He wasn't wearing my favorite red velour pants but the ones he had on were just as tight and made me want to scream "Take me Joe!!! I'm yours forever!!!" I managed to contain myself throughout the show but have to admit I was feeling very frisky now that I'd fully recuperated from the "Bird Flu" that raged through Pacoima last week. I lost 6 and a half pounds because I was quarantined and couldn't leave the house and went through most of my food the first day. I was feeling pretty darn good about my new slender self and decided this show would be a good one to approach Joe. I was even so bold as to make a reservation at the "Good Nite Inn" down the street from the club so I could invite Joe back to my room for a night cap. During the first set a skanky looking woman with a gold tooth in a Playboy Bunny Halloween costume kept dancing right in front of Joe trying to get his attention. By the last song I was feeling so dejected and un-noticed I was nearly in tears. I decided to just leave rather than face another rejection and slipped out the side door. Thank God there was a 24-hour Foster's Freeze right next door. By the time I finished my Double Old-Fashioned with Cheese, large Onion Rings and Triple-thick Peanut Butter Malt my mood had lightened. As I walked back towards my Motel, I noticed a flashing sign for "Stan's of Hollywood" directly across the street. The sign promised a wide selection of sexy lingerie and I did need to find a new pair for my special night with Joe (since the cops still had my other pair for evidence) so I decided to check it out. As I slipped through the black curtains I nearly tripped over the biggest display of facial massagers I have ever seen!!! This place was nothing like the Victoria's Secret in the mall and to my horror they were even selling pornographic videos and magazines!!! What if Joe had seen me go in? What if Joe saw me coming out of such a place? He would think I was total trailer trash!!! I stood in front of the display frozen in terror so long the oily haired guy behind the counter must have thought I wanted to buy one and called out "If you want to try any of 'em out, I got some batteries right here..." All the men standing at the magazine rack turned and stared at me. I totally lost it!!! I shrieked and ran out of the building and headed straight for my Gremlin. I wan't going to spend another second in this horrible little town. I was so upset I didn't even stop at the Denny's in Victorville for Boston Cream Pie like I had planned. I'm not sure I'll even go to Joe's show this weekend at Paladino's. If someone saw me go in there and tells Joe I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see me again! I feel so soiled and dirty now...