Hey Team Dick

We just can't get enough of your fucking shit, self consciously wordy wanky fucking shite music you try-hard wankshaft. 

Ooh you're KE-RAYZEE with your fucking ke-rayzee attitude and SWEARING IN CAPITALS

you fucking bell end. 

Is that it? All your mouthy, sweary shouty bullshit posturing and that's the best you can come up with?

So not only are you a fucking try-hard twat who thinks that loads of backwards noises = good music (when it actually equals shit), you're a fucking fraud as well. 

Back to special school you go… to make more dreary, pointless records featuring a million fucking stupid backwards noises and farting into a bucket of pigswill and talking about how revolutionary and daring it is when it's actually a bunch of pretentious, unbearable old wank. 

Have you ever actually heard music? You know, music, with notes? And not painfully try-hard wanky noise drivel?

Thought not. 

I worship him and I haven't got a beard! (unless you look REAL CLOSE maybe)

nor am I an asshole.

you're an asshole but that's what jealousy does to people! I know, I know.

I envy his talents but that's a different thing all together.

I LIKE THE WAY HE WRITES. WOOOOOOOOO

I take what I do really seriously, I love it and a few other people do too.. cool. I'm used to not being liked, that's cool too, for sure. granted, you don't like it, but why you feel the need to attack me for such uuuuuuuuuuuuutterly petty fucking things such as typing like a tard IN CAPITALSZ, (heaven for-fucking-fend) and be some crazy little stalker bully for o'er three fucking years is totally beyond me... Who needs to grow up here, reeeeeally? Also, who's the fucking bellend?

The whooooooooole "real music" argument is entirely fucking redundant, so let's not get into that eh?
Your.... obsession..... with me and what I do is the most disturbing part of this....

Anyway you complete undisputable insufferable cockwrench (I'm sorry, are you going to have a go at me for fucking well swearing again? Diddums!), it's a free god-damn country and you're free to LOATHE me and what I do (I assure you it's mutual, no love lost) but I'm also to-tal-ly free to make music that you think is bullshit. I think most music is total cock, but I don't stalk out bands who I think suck and cry about it...

There's a difference between subjectivity and objectivity, O YEZZZZZZZ THERE IZZZZZZZ BUDDY PAL (still free to talk like a twat last time I checked, you cunt) meaning that just because previous over here (ie you) doesn't like something doesn't mean it's shit. I can't stand corned beef FOR INSTANCE, thousands do. ABSOLUTELY FINE BY ME....

Whilst you're probably fervently touching yourself in some gleeful sexual miasma at the fact that I'm riled up (good GOD you are annoying) and concocting another wonderfully witty ripaste about how much I suck, I'll just say OK THEN DUUUUUUUUUUUDE, I ANTISSYPAYT ITT WITH GRAET EXCITEMENT, CHUCKLESZZZZzz the magnificent...

The polite (read: useless coward) part of me would just say "Please just fuck off and leave me alone, I've done nothing to you, we BOTH have better things to do than bicker on the internet".

But nothing gets through to you at all, does it? You're a fucking bully and ja-heeeeeesus christ I thought I would have had my fill of this after school finished... Do you have a point? Do you have anything other than an opinion of me to base your argument on?

My questions to you are: What is one of these "Backwards Noises" and why do they offend you sooooooooooo much?
When did I declare myself and/or what I do to be "revolutionary" or "daring"? (I just make music I like... that's IT)
Also, WHAT "Mouthy, sweary bullshit posturing"? At what point did I fart into a bucket of pigswill?
Pretentious is a godawul word to use.... what's my pretence, WHAT am I pretending to do? What's WRONG with a pretence anyway?

I'll freely and happily admit that you upset me, and I'll just go ahead and assume that makes you quite chuffed.
Just fuck right off. Please. Just get on with whatever life you have, there's no need for ours to converge.

protect the queen!

defend the purveyor of shit sounds!!

You'd make a charming special needs couple

Just block me you fucking cretins

Why bother?

you keep me entertained whilst I'm at work! for which I'm grateful.

(office job. boring.
being in a Mogwai tribute band isn't all that lucrative, see...)

:)

Don't you think that describing yourself as a Mogwai tribute band is rather overstating your abilities?

You need to get a life. 

I'll leave it to you to overstate my abilities m'dear.
You've been good at it so far.

either way we is hot

Where's team prick anyway? He obviously needs a girl to fight for him, such is the extent of his autism.  

I'm great at it.
If "it" is being amused by some freak who is obsessed with my lovely husband.
(The freak being you.)

Next, I wouldn't really call your words towards me "abuse".
 
Simply childish attempts to annoy a person / two people who don't know you.
I'm puzzled by it but I neither enjoy it nor loathe it.

However I think I told you before, I have an office job.
This means I do have time to respond, where I would otherwise not bother.
I can keep going til long after you're bored of us, because of this fact.

We win either way, because we're nice people.