I want to feel free to be me

I want to feel free to love my husband

my fellow human beings

my family!

To start over with so many things.

I want my baby to be warm and alive

not in a box in the closet

I want to write

I want to relax!

I want to stop being told I think I'm perfect

when it's the last thing I think I am!

I want not to be a scapegoat

To not be the one that fucks it up when you know it's you!

I want to live!

I want all the death and the pain and the anger to stop!

To be able to walk and move and breath without being judged inadequate

For my weight

For the times I don't wear the make-up

For being me!

I want to be able to speak my mind and not be judged stupid for it!

I want to be me!

I want to read

I want to create

I want to know my family is safe and taken care of!

I want to stop thinking about how it's probably all pointless anyway cause I'm going to die

Whether it's today or a hundred years from now!

I want to feel like I've done something!

I want to have conversations for the sake of intelligent thought

I want people to know that i know what I'm talking about

I want people to see how intelligent i am without me having to write one sentence or open my mouth

I want people to know that being gay doesn't mean i want you to be like me

or that I'd ever want to be like you

Just because I'm talking to you

I want to to have friends that see me

I want to be treated like a human being and not a fat fuck, stupid, waste of space

or as if I don't know what you say behind my back

the minute I leave the room or there's enough feet between us

I am smart enough to know by now

I am wise beyond my years

regardless of my maturity

I am tired of being held down and told what I am, what I can be

I'm tired of people using religion, morality, attractiveness, thinness and ego

to declare their superiority over me

I see it all around me

I know it

Like I know an old song caught in my head

Enough is enough

If you can't stand the sight of me

If you can't see me through your haze

Through your Ego

Your Id

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!