Dear God,
               What's good? I know we haven't talked in a while and I'm just writing to let you know that I still believe and now I need you more than ever. I'm writing to let you know that even though these past six months have been very hard and life changing, I am very thankful for everything that you have opened my eyes to. I said over and over and over and over and prayed and prayed and prayed for another job or a way out of that situation and right on time, right before I knocked somebody upside the head V8 style you changed it up on me. Every time I felt like I couldn't or wouldn't make it you sent me a sign, person or conversation to let me know that everything was gonna be ok. Everytime I felt like giving up, throwing in the towel or just running away, you gave me a reason to stay and fight and believe that things would get better.
               I can't say that I'm just now discovering your greatness in the past six months because situation after situation you've saved me. From the things in my childhood, not fitting in the places I yearned to, different men and people who were bad for me but I just couldn't break away from, the mistakes made during my younger days all the way up to 30 minutes ago you've always been here. As horrible and hurtful these experiences have been, I am truly thankful for each and every one of them. Each and every situation has taught me a lesson or showed me something and molded me into the person I am and is preparing me for the person I'm meant to be. I'm thankful for the backstabbing, lying, plotting, planning, up to no good people that were placed in my life because they made me more receptive to the loving, kind, caring, helpful and great people who are here now.
               I'm thankful for the gifts that were given to me and the people placed near my heart who can help me cultivate, nurture and mature these gifts. I'm thankful for the fight you put into my heart and the presence you have in my life. As far as I've come, I know that this right here, this place that I'm in is nowhere near the places I want to go and the places you have planned for me. I'm ready. Like I say all the time Go hard or go home and right now I don't have a home. Yea I know you always have a place for me but right now, I have to do what you put me here to do first and I'm ready to do that. 
               You gave me a gift which also happens to be my passion. I mean, so many other people have gotten gifts from you and either can't recognize what it is or don't feel passionately about it. Here I am with a passion and gift for writing and helping people yet I'm not using them. I have plans to and I want to but the pessimist in me always finds excuses not to use them. From here on out, I'm here to be used. I can't continue to think about my situation and how to get out of it. I can't continue to know what I want to do and not do it. I can't continue to brag on my abilities without something sound to back them up. So regardless the forum, method or tactic I'm focused.

           So here I stand or sit rather being what some call "a fat struggling baby mama trying to get some respect" and it's hard. Very hard. There are huge obstacles, detours, road blocks and haters on the road ahead of me but it's ok. As huge as these obstacles may prove to be, I have something so small that they really don't matter. I have the faith of a mustard seed and my mountains too shall be moved. It's really hard for me to believe right now. All I can see ahead of me is problem after problem. The things and people around me have made me very doubtful of everything and the possibility of success.
           I would be lying if I didn't let these people and situations haven't made me doubt you in the darkest of moments, but right now today I have faith. It might be small in size but it's enough to stop me from going completely crazy. It's enough to let me know that you are who I should be turning to right now. It's enough to let me know that you would never give me more than I can bear.
          I guess the whole point of this thing is to let you know that I do still believe and I'm done being sad. I'm done being down and I'm done being tired. I'm ready now and well equipped for the nay-sayers, negativity, haters and road blocks. I know that you are by my side even when I don't know it.