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Last Updated: 11/18/2009

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Status: Single
City: CARDIFF BY THE SEA
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/14/2008

Who Gives Kudos:

bekz (1)
Strider (1)
lowercase z.. (1)
Lee (1)
That's .. (1)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 
I woke up early. It's day number three of the fast and I am definitely feeling it... I crawl out of bed and have four immediate thoughts:

My first thought: I have access to clean water and a roof to sleep under. I have a bed. I have my guitar. In this fast I was hoping to join in solidarity with those who are fasting without an option; and yet the hunger I have right now is nothing compared to the despair of Darfur. Robbed of dignity, robbed of their homes, these refugees are on the run from brutal violence and rape, seeking out any form of hope. The smallest bit of hunger that I feel this morning cannot even be compared to the hunger that Darfur woke up with today: a hunger for dignity, a hunger for freedom, a hunger for so much more than simply food.

My second though was this: I need so much grace. I need so much patience. I need so many second chances. Even in this fast, I'm sure my motives are impure most the time. I might be drinking only water but it's my mind and my heart that are corrupted and impure. I would like to think that I have it all together but I don't- from the
little things: I screw up the time and end up running late way too often- to the big things: I get overwhelmed at suffering and sorrow in the world and sometimes would rather turn the other way. And in my hopes to get things right I can be extremely judgmental of everyone everything around me. Dang it. I'm sorry all. God is so patient with me. My friends and family are so patient with me. I need to learn how to pass this grace along.

My third thought was along these lines: we are meant to live and love in community- to grow old together having shared laughter and pain and joy- to love each other through the painful spots. But we're so bent and hurt that we drive each other away. We've been so broken and shattered (Speaking out of experience here!), that we are driven to
break and shatter the ones around us. Call it our fallen nature, or look to Freud and call it our death urge... might as well call it the front page of the newspaper. The fact is: we are driven to pieces, destroying ourselves and those around us in the search for meaning. No life is meant to be lived alone. We know this and yet on a planet with millions of people we drive lonely cars and work lonely jobs. We start lonely wars and buy lonely houses.

My fourth thought: Everything on this capital planet is worth what we will pay for it. The "worth" of gold rises and falls according to public opinion. The housing market, meats and vegetables, vintage guitars, oil... The trouble is that people fall into this category as well. The value of human life and dignity... What's it worth? Is it worth my time? Is it worth risking national security? Is it worth more than oil?  Is it worth getting out of my comfort zone to help someone out? What we ascribe worth to is what we "worth-ship" - and what we worship is most evident with our time and money. Stock up treasures in heaven where moths and rust cannot destroy.

What's the meaning of life? What's worth living for? We live out those answers everyday in our choices. It's a tremendous amount of power, (accompanied with fear and trembling). The staggering realization is this: you've been loaned the power to determine what's "worth it" in your lifetime. Every hour of life affords a tremendous amount of spending power; choose wisely with your time, it's one of your most valuable resources.
6:13 PM
 
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bekz

 
thankyou for this, jon.
 
Posted by bekz on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 6:27 PM
[Reply to this] 
HELLOHURRICANE!!!
Mike Ritchie

 
jon is human! he has messed up too!! woohoo! thank God for lessons learned and grace! haha
 
Posted by HELLOHURRICANE!!! on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 6:31 PM
[Reply to this] 
Strider
Dan Heinkel

 
I love how Matthew 6:19i s in there! And again, what you are doing is just phenomenal...God bless!
 
Posted by Strider on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 6:36 PM
[Reply to this] 
Laura Sian

 
I have just read all three of the blogs reagrding your fast in protest and solidarity with the people of Darfur and I have found it extremely moving and I only wish I had I followed the journey a couple of days earlier so I could have encouraged you in your undertaking. What you have done involved great hardship and sacrifice and here in the UK (and I believe also in the US though I can't be certain) hardship and sacrifice are not things most of us are accustomed to.<br /><br />Often we shut our eyes to the sufferring of others because it is too painful and disrupts the comfort of our priviliges but with blessing comes responsibilty. All people are created equal and it's time that the thousands of dying and the thousands of mourning in Dafur are recognised as human beings and all of us in the west should feel more uncomfortable and be more vocal about their sufferring.<br /><br />Your blogs have had an impact, at least to me.
 
Posted by Laura Sian on Thursday, May 14, 2009 - 3:23 PM
[Reply to this] 
Guimel

 
Yeah, you made me feel guilty about my Obama comment just now, Jon. I made a comment saying that maybe we should cut Obama a little slack since he's got a lot on his mind. But since you mentioned that flu situation, I do have to agree with you as much as I love Obama. I think that what you are doing is amazing and great enough. But its easy for us to just sit here and say, "oh great job jon, its so great that you're doing this." and then we forget about it and continue with our lives. I struggle with that. I come up with excuses, "I'm already involved with another organization, I dont have time for this. I'm alreayd doing my good deeds." No, its about the heart. About where it takes you. This time when I say I commend you, I say this with sincerity. Because I woulnt be able to be like you are or do what you do, the constant helping of organizations. I can't do much because of my situations but I can still do a lot you know? with all the internet age and all. I don't know, it just makes me sad that I havent done much to this particular issue. As if the fact that I'm already involved or have been involved with another organization is excuse to not get involved with something else. It's not really about the "organizations" or "causes" huh? It's about humanity. *sigh* seriously, there are people who don't do half as much as you do. <br />Just know that. Jon. :)<br />Guimel (Pip)<br />Lisbon, Portugal<br />
 
Posted by Guimel on Thursday, May 14, 2009 - 10:43 PM
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