Okay...   It all started with a trip down memory lane.   Jammin' out tunes to Donkey Kong Country made me take a step back to my teenage to current friendship with Fisky.   We always used to go over each other's place and play on games, started with Amiga, then Snes, Sega, Jaguar, Saturn  (pretty much every shitty console fisky seemed to end up with, lol) to Playstation, to Xbox and so fourth.  Then it turned to drinking, music, and the Heathlands.   Those days were fun... I mean I had a good time and didn't dwell on ANYTHING.

We'll after a short correspondance with a brand new friend, it was stated to me, "You need to get out more"

What the hell had life become... sitting at home on the computer, pushing myself to do nothing, dwelling on how hard I hated Dodge City and everything it had to offer.

Well my friends in a short month I struck up a friendship with Jessica and Mike, and it kinda put the cracks in the shell I had hid into.  Then out of the blue, another co worker who I had decided to befriend semi introduced me to their friend, and that person introduced me to the previously stated, you need to get out more.

Now following my recently ended relationship with the ex, I spun downward and had been bashing my head against rock bottom, FOOLING myself I was happiest being misserable.  This concept led me to seek rejection as a platform of self fullfilment.

I cant get too deep into what that means, not yet.

Anyhow, In one short weekend, I did something I have no clue why... I travelled one hour to hang out with a total stranger and just spend the night having drinks and dancing and having... OH MY GOSH      FUN!

I visit a stranger's wedding, I go dancing, albeit dancing the best a fat white boy can dance, and rack up a modest bar tab ($22... it was a cheap place)  then went back to the friend's house, and, no... didn't establish the with benefits thing, but established an acceptance of who I am, and also letting my ability to flirt and generally be open and upfront with what im thinking.

I'm still single, and you know what... it never was the hope or plan to change that about me, it was just a night to not over analyze everything, not feel sorry for myself and not make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Should you be reading this and feel you are the subject of what I am writing, whatever happens in the future... feel accomplished... you managed to achieve what you wanted to achieve last night... and I thank you.


All of a suddon Dodge City doesn't seem like a bad place.

Therefore... I went from Hate to Hope, in 24 hours.