So true as a child we learn what we see, and think its ok. It took me 10 years to figure my mess out! But if anything i showed my daughter that i am strong and will never put up BS again.I hope she learned something good out of this mess..
 

A bad thing about domestic viloence is that men are also on the other end of the spectrum in a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation. I myself have been in two relationships in which the women were violent, and my mom isn't that much different. I ended those relationships, but only over the past maybe 10 years or so heard a statistic that said that in like 60% of all domestic violence cases he female starts it, and thats something only in the past few years you see police departments realizing this, whereas before the man was dragged off regardless...the fact is that LOVE doesn't hurt, and that niether of the two sexes should be striking at the other one. If its that angry of a moment...walk out, leave for awhile, thats what"i'd do and still at times you'd be right in the middle of of it with even more threats such as, "Leave now and don't come back", or "Run away", etc.

 

my mother was murdered by her boyfriend when I was 18years old....I miss her so...:(...my father was also abusive but she fell out of the pan into the fire so to speak...black eyes where a common thing...sunglasses were her " friends" I claimed her body at the cook county morgue after he beat her to a pulp and then broke a wine bottle and stabbed her with it to finish her off... ..
 

LL, AKA;V,


Wow, I am sorry, but unfortunately today its really both sexes that react first and think last. I know from alot of close friends that are police officers that arrest wise its like 50-50 today. I can persoanlly attest to the fact of knowing one female that now in her 30's and has fight after fight with people, and brags about it to a degree. Thats a fine example of a parent to even be bragging about these stories in the front of her kids, who most likely will end up abusers or being abused in domestic violence, and the saddest part in that whole scenerio is the times when she has been beaten by a man its a claim to Ms. Innocent and yet everytime drugs or alcohol had a hand in it, but somehow that was the least of the cause and problem. Love doesn't heard PERIOD, and theres a far better way to settle differences.

 

God help the victims. They are all in my prayers. I too am a Domestic Violence Survivor.
But praise God that was then and this is now:)






 

Synthia,


I know you are at where you are today because of what you have been through...I cannot put into words the respect and real admiration I have for both you as a person and your ministries. As mentioned I too have been on your end of that table and as I man heard it said time and time again, "You should have knocked her on her &^%," or "I would have done this to her," etc. Yes, that would have been the easiest way out, the fastest way, and way to end it or escalate it, but two wrongs do not make a right, and I also realized that the anger issues ran much deeper than just that to act first and think last. I feel I did what was right and leave when possible, and hope things would die, but despite all you've been through in the past, "I love whom you are today because of that past," and wouldn't want a thing to change, but perhaps be even better. God bless you.



Rick
 

God bless you too Rick. I thank God for my journey. It made me who I am today.

 

..and I wouldn't want you any other way!
 

Tamera,


Unfortunately the lifestyle almost becomes an addiction and second nature to both people in abusive relationships. I very high percentage of those abused and the abusers end up with the exact same kind of people time and time again...this to me proves its a disease to some degree. Without proper counseling and a willing ness to change things in their lives those chains do not get broken and are carried on generation after generation. For instance a woman with children say a boy and a girl, and mom is the victime of abuse. Too many times the male child will become an abuser, and the female childe a victim of abuse. People need to grasp hold of that fact and break the cycles that will and can keep occuring.