I have two of the best male friends in the world.  I have more than that but this particular blog is focusing on Brian and Josh.  My friend Brian and I hung out in San Francisco for about a week.  It was so wonderfully fantastic.  He was the best company.  We tried all sorts of different foods and the options seemed to be limitless.  The conversation was funny and entertaining.  It was like my brain was waking out of the comatose state it has seemed to be locked in for the last few years.  We went on roller coasters, got drunk on wine, he teased me mercilessly, and we talked of all sorts of deep and mind bending subjects.  It was refreshing and just plain fun and not once did I feel the need to apologize or defend my behavior. (more about that later) 

I flew home for Easter and spent a couple of days at home.

The Monday after Easter I flew out to see my friend Josh in Vegas.  Damn!  That was some serious fun.  Great long meandering conversations and bottomless quantities of things to do.  He too was relaxed and a lot of fun to be around and I freely enjoyed myself the whole time I was there.  We went and saw Zumanity and had sushi at Shibuya before we went.  While I have been on vacation the food tastes better and I seem to feel better about myself.  We watched movies and laughed.  If you haven't checked out Mirrormask or American Psycho I recommend both but the last one only if you don't have a squemish stomach...it's really bloody.

Laughter...when did it go missing?  It's not like it left but it seemed so much more work for some reason.  One theory is that I stayed to long in my job and that people have been waiting for me to get out and come back to life. 

No matter what I had the best time I have had in years.  It was like waking up from a very grey world into a kaleidoscope of color.  I don't want to go back to that grey world though.  I don't want to go back to feeling the need to apologize for anything I do that may seem out of character or out of place.  I felt that I could do or say anything I wanted in the presence of both of my friends and at the end they would still feel the same way about me that they did before I said it.  For some reason I don't have that feeling at home.

Guess I have some more to think about.