The Magic Christmas Bread Mix by: Dave Gould Once upon a time there was a troubled young girl named Lydia. Lydia believed in magic. Well I guess that doesn’t set her apart from the other troubled girls. Lydia had a boyfriend that she kept in her hope chest. Lucky for her, this boy liked chests and was patient in a tolerant way with all her antics. His name was Donald. He was very handsome and kind. Though not a bright kid, he had a good job down at the plant and was very content. He loved Lydia and her idiosyncracies. They had been a couple now for two years and were quite set in their routines. Her parents unaware, they would spend the odd special night together at Donald’s apartment. Donald’s parents actually pretended to be unaware. They figured that if they let them know that they knew they would have to be mad. They decided it was best not to bother. Lydia was getting restless. She wanted nothing more than to marry Donald. Her hope chest was getting musty and the pressure was on. One evening whilst shopping for Christmas she was walking home down a dark and spooky country road. She saw a light in the distance that she never noticed before. When she approached it inquisitively she realized it was a new gift store and a little house. It must be one of those seasonal businesses run by someone with seasonal summer work cashing in on the Christmas rush with trinkets and home made things. It was only 2 days before Christmas and she still hadn’t found the perfect gift for Donald. She wanted to make this the most special Christmas of all so she went in with all her hopes and dreams in front of her. Gargoyles, owls, candles, gem stones, oils, and little pewter models of old classic cars. She was bound to find a magical gift for Donald. Time did not exist in this store. Hours flew by as she fell deeper and deeper into the trance of Loons and potpourri. The proprietor of the Magic Christmas Shoppe was an aged lady with long gray “ memories of my hippy days” hair. She stood by the cash and eyed Lydia with eyes of wisdom and kindness. Lydia felt comforted by the woman’s presence. The woman spoke, “ Looking for the perfect gift?” how did she know? “Yes” “For a special loved one?” How Did She Know? “Yes” The lady gestured and Lydia stared It was the kind of place that made spell checkers on the print shop computers go wild. Two p’s and an e. That meant extra special. And there in front of Lydia, after her seemingly endless quest for peace, was the perfect gift. Sitting next to the ceramic happy and sad beany clowns was what she had been looking for. The most fantastic plethora of bread machine mixes she had ever laid her eyes on. “Do you make these yourself ?” Lydia asked “Yes” “Are they any good? What is in them?” “Ah! That’s a secret. Let’s just say that some say that it makes bread so wonderful that people will be eating out of your hands so to speak. Some even say its magical. Her mind was made up. She would bake Donald the best bread he had ever eaten. Win her way to his heart through his stomach. He would then propose to her on New Years evening under the fireworks and they would live forever together. She picked the Sun Dried Tomato Christmas Mix after long deliberation with Dill Pickle. Approached the counter and paid Star. Star was the lady’s name. She was too young to be an old hippy. She just looked like one. Just before Lydia left Star’s Magic Christmas Shoppe with the Magic Sun Dried Tomato Christmas Bread Mix, Star whispered, “Hey Lydia!” Lydia turned to see the mysterious lady wink as she closed the door behind her. What did it mean? Why would she wink at me like that? How did She know my name? Was she a witch? What time was it? Where is the bread maker? These were some of the questions that occupied Lydia’s mind as she walked home with her special package under her arm. She was warmed by the anticipation of the most magical Christmas of all time. The details about Christmas day, family, turkey dinner, finding the bread maker, mistle toe and all that good stuff that comes with the holiday season pale in comparison to what happened Boxing day morning. “Beep Beep Beep”. The machine had been up all night kneading the magic dough into a little loaf that didn’t quite rise right because it had all of Lydia’s hopes and dreams placed on it. In actuality, the bread didn’t rise right due to a complication with the packaged yeast that came with the mix. But that is neither here nor there when size of the loaf is taken in context with the symbolism it presents. Donald woke up to the most delicious breakfast he had ever had. He found it scrumptious with Mozzarella cheese and a pinch of salt. Lydia just stared as he ate with glee. The whole loaf was gone by the time she returned home with her Boxing Day sale booty. The very next day Lydia went back to The Magic Christmas Store. She bought 5 more boxes so she wouldn’t need to find her way down that dark road every night. Their love for each other grew. She was never happier. And on New Years Eve under the fireworks laden sky he got on his knee, held her hand and placed her hopes and dreams on her finger. They were to be married in the spring. The next morning was very unlike the one that Donald had on Boxing day. She was out of bread. What would she do? Would the spell of the magic bread be broken before nightfall? She tried to pacify the fear of losing Donald to reality by watching double the soaps and by ingesting copious amounts caffeine and nicotine. Which of the three had the most adverse effect still remains a debate. As soon as nightfall fell, she made her way down the dark mysterious road to where she routinely found the Magic Christmas Shoppe. To her horror and surprise, it was closed. What was she to do. She ran home in time to jump in her car and hit the malls. There was no Magic Christmas Bread Mix anywhere to be found. She drove down that road for hours crying until she finally decided she was going to do it. She was going to break the unspoken rule to never knock on the house next to the gift shop in hopes that they will be of service after hours. Wiping her tears aside, she knocked. A light came on. It was one of those magic lights with the eye. Star, who looked surprisingly the same fresh out of bed as she did in the shop, answered the door. “Oh Thank god it is you. I never thought I would find you. I need more of your Magic Christmas Bread mix. You were right. It worked. I am engaged and he loves me and my life is perfect.” “Go away!” Slam! Knock Knock Knock! “What do you want from me?” “I need more bread mix. Please help me! I am afraid the spell will wear off if I don’t get a loaf in before the morning.” Wink Wink “ What spell? What is with the winking?” Lydia drove home a very sad and troubled girl that night. It really was one of those shops that only opened just for the Christmas rush. There was nothing mystical about it’s appearance at all. Star explained that she winked at Lydia like she does to all of her customers, hoping they would come back with their friends and buy more stuff. Anyone who spent over an hour in her store was likely looking for a special something for the special someone Star explained. The all knowing air she put on by actually reading Lydia’s credit card and calling her by name was standard gift shop sales protocol. Lydia reminded herself of a previous thought she had that two p’s and an e means special. A dose of reality washed over Lydia as she butted her last smoke in the ashtray beside her hopes and dreams. It wasn’t Donald who was under the spell! Meanwhile back at Star’s house a conversation was under way that ended like this. “ We’re going to have to move the shop further from the house.” and “Were gunna need to order much more of that bread mix next year. Wink! Wink!”