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Category: Life
If you have ever had a dream …
If you have ever experienced an untamed passion for something more …
If you have ever lived life in pursuit of what your heart deeply desires …
If you have ever made sacrifices only to ache for the seemingly impossible …
If you have ever believed that the impossible is attainable …
Then we have walked a similar journey with an outcome yet to be determined, but a passion far from being hindered.
Then you have seen disappointment that only pushes you further …
Then you have experienced a cry that says “Here I Am! – Somebody please hear me ”…
Then you know you cannot settle for anything less than the cry of your heart…
You know that you cannot do it alone.
This Saturday morning in May greeted us with a cool breeze, forming puffs of cold air that freely escaped through our lips. My shoes became decorated with speckles of mud each time they sunk into puddles of grassy patches that became our pathway to the music tent. Our set-up was simple, but Jordan and I worked diligently to arrange the small platform for our acoustic performance, honored to benefit this great cause that we were invited to support. Half past nine, while bundled in my winter hat and marshmallow vest, we positioned ourselves in the dew covered folding chairs so as to fill the air with unheard melodies.
The wind took to our tunes marvelously, but only to carry each song away selfishly, merely mixed in with drifting dandelion parachutes. Although perhaps the wind took each note to God’s ears in the journey upward, and even one dear elderly lady in the corner who smiled lavishly upon us. As for the rest, they took the hands of their children and leashes of their dogs, strolling upon the grass with not even a gaze thrown in our direction, save an occasional thumbs-up whilst meandering to the food tent.
Jordan’s fingers growing slightly numb from the cold, and with his fifth string now absent from the neck of his guitar, we began to play a tune that started on the white keys of my piano and made its way to this shadowed tent.
“Write it down, every word, that has no sound but can be heard. Write it down, every thought, and don’t forget the words you sought. Fighting for an answer.
I want to scream what I can’t say. What will it take for you to hear me? I want to shout; just shout it out. What will it take for you to see me? So I will -- ”
Yet they continued to hear nothing but whispers of an innocent wind. Every piece of my being cried out unashamedly for my voice to be heard, only to recognize that I cannot grasp what it will take for the writings of my heart to become truth to empty steps that struggle through life just as much as I. Either they are not listening closely enough to find the resonating truth that hovers in the air above their heads, or I am not screaming loudly enough.
So here I am, writing down the words that make the very core of my being ache. Not merely because I want to be heard, but because I want you to hear; to know that in our vastly different journey’s, the heart of emotion and hurt and struggle is something that we all know, no matter the yoke of our beliefs, no matter the steps within our stories, no matter the depth of our pain.
This is why I write. This is why we play. Although we long to do what we love, our desires are cast not simply for the sake of ourselves, but for the beauty that will manifest itself when we all choose to listen and share in the struggle.
8:26 PM
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