Tuesday: Namsos

After our day off which kind of got out of control. There are about 14 of us on the tour, and on Sunday night we stayed at a big community centre with a bar, loads of sound systems and lots of little places to explore. What came out of this session was a film called Lake Kearney. This is the baby of Joe Mann from Killamonjambo and the protagonist is Lake the bass player who is an old school action hero who wakes up naked in the woods and is trying to put his life back together. So filming for this epic is well under way and we have all played parts. It’s been an exciting acting debut for all of us.

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So Namsos, sorry got distracted, it is 3 hours north of Trondheim, again it’s beautiful scenery and great people. We were treated with a home cooked Bolognese upon arrival, sound checked on a massive stage which was just the local youth club gig venue. The show was one of my favourites. Big wooden hall so the sound was ice clear and the crowd were great. They came to the front, crowded at the barrier, sang along and really made the gig for us. It was cool just drinking tea with everyone after, signing T’s and CD’s and running away from a few untoward advances by young ladies who were too young.

Wednesday: Lillehammer

4 am wake up call after 3 hours sleep on a little sofa. Climb in a big black mini bus called big black which isn’t that big when there are 20 blokes crowded in it. Our destination Lillehammer and it’s 10 hours away. Big Blue has been left behind as she could not find any snow shoes that fitted her. It broke Jonny (Our drivers) heart to leave her behind. I know she will be ok without us.

Christian our most handsome driver took us past the third biggest peak in Norway, we stopped, did some rugby tackling practice on Kate the camera lady, but it turns out she is hard as nails, a legend, and can tackle better than I.

6 more hours driving, massive hills, lakes, forests, we should be hiking not driving. The show it’s self was in the town where the winter Olympics took place a few years ago, beautiful town. Ace venue, better bar maids, who fed us, and showed us the local pool bar after the show. Thanks to them all. Legends.

Thursday: Zandvika

This day was crowned by the amazing breakfast that OST and Killa cooked for the whole crew. We stayed the night at a pretty girl called Heidi’s house (thankyou Heidi) and then hit the supermarket to show the Norde’s what a real English breakfast tasted like as we couldn’t handle any more German sausage and cheese. We succeeded and my 24 egg scrambled egg will be in the Guiness book of Records shortly. 

Because of the egg fiesta we left late and then had to promote the gig because in typical fashion the promoter hadn’t promoted the show. We grabbed our instruments made from timber and steel and hit the shopping mall, we got removed, we hit it again and git removed again. The bouncers did love our hill billy remixes but shopping malls do not do busking, especially spontaneous busking. We set up camp just outside the perimeter of the mall and hit Rapper’s Delight which seemed to do the trick, warming our hearts and minds. Pizza then called us.

The show worked out o in the end. Local band Penguin Punch did the trick, talented young gents and dam handsome too. Check them out. All of their handsome friends filled the place and made our set less uncomfortable.

Friday: Lillestrom

This was the one. The one. Again we were up early, there’s no rest on tour, the organisers always find job for you to do. Today we had to go to the local colleges and promote the show. Now in England if you showed up at a college with instruments, walked in the front door and started playing I imagine you would get removed by angry security and the police would come and grill your backside. In Lillestrom it is the opposite. We played to the whole catering team and some young bangra specialists, and had people dancing along. We now have a whole set of our tunes in a hill billy country style.

We left and found out soundcheck was delayed until 7 pm, which left us with free time but free time is not free and everything costs more in Norway. A group of ourselves found ourselves in the local charity shop which is actually like a designer store as everything is Armani and still too expensive. We ceased the opportunity to host our own on tour fashion show with Lewis (The man who does our artwork who now lives in Oslo) leading the way with Pete from Killa in a fur coat strut competition. Film clips will be up here soon.

The show was epic, we were on second at about mid night in a massive club called Martins, it was rammed, we played two sets and sold a T-Shirt for £20 which our autographs on it. Everything went down hill after that and I can’t write about it.

Saturday: Porsgrunn

Our last show of the tour. Without a tour it means we have to go back to our daily lives. Face responsibility and wither away. It sounds dramatic but it’s true. It has gone so quickly and we have had such a great time due to the great people we have met and due to the great crew that the tour built by Herman has in place. We will miss you all greatly and there will be tears. I am welling up as we speak.

We had a lie in. Left Eric's Ma a long letter about how amazing her son is. Eric is the legendary sound engineer who’se Mum’s house we stayed at the last few days. Porsgrunn was two hours south of  Oslo. Got there after we took the scenic route through the mountains. Crikey it was hot. The breaks were stinking by time we had descended 1500 metres trying to use third gear as the breaks. Porsgrunn is beautiful, right on the water front, everything is on the waterfront in Norway. Our hosts gave us a tour of the city, made a new friend called Jing Jing from China on the tour. Tonight we are playing with a metal band called Wintergrave who are the darkest thing I have ever heard, they shake me to the core of my soul. Terrifying stuff.

Our hosts had prepared us an epic curry back at their warm and ace house. We are sat around and just rejoiced in how fun the whole tour had been. We are leaving after the show tonight and it is going to be horrible. The bar maids from Lillehammer have driven 5 hours to watch us play again. Life here is perfect. Good people, good food, good times and music everyday. This is what life is supposed to be like. The show was awesome, we haven’t really played a bad one on tour. I hope we tour again, especially in Norway. Now for the 35 hour drive home across Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Belgium, The Netherlands and France. Can’t wait.

James