If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:




I have an irrational fear of:
Pigeons, those beady-eyed bastards. Flying germballs.

What weight were you when you were born?
apparently, in all my excitement, i forgot to step on the ol’ scale. i’m sure somebody checked, but it wasn’t me.

I am most opposed to:
uninformed hatred. if you’re going to be that passionate about something, at least get the facts first, dickhead.

Do you stalk anyone on myspace?
not really, but i hang out here a lot in hopes that people will start stalking me.

I am too old to be:
involved in something like this:




I find the thought of childbirth:
much more appealing than the reality of it. that is some narsty shit, yo!

Next door to my house is:
there’s a playing behind our building. Even though no one ever rides the tire swing, there are three kids that stand there and push it pretty much all day every day.

My feet are:
large, wide, cold.

My preferred style of jeans is:
long enough for my legs, but small enough around the waist that i can forget to wear a belt and not have to hike ’em up every ten seconds. These jeans are in a cavern somewhere with the holy grail.

I know how to cook:
up a scheme.

I am annoyed at:
Lots of things, but i usually just pretend i’m not.

Men should never:



Women should never:


What sea creature scares you?



true, there are weirder looking things down there, but these dudes look MEAN.

What object have you broken most recently?
yesterday, while i was cleaning the bathroom, i dropped a bottle of my roommates’ shampoo yesterday and the lid exploded. i sort of just put it back and feigned ignorance.

Name one of the Spice Girls.
Victoria Beckham! husband of LA GALAXY superstar David. GAAAAALAAAAAXY!

What was the last thing to make you cry?



what are the stems of wine glasses for?
to attach the base to the glass? i dunno, i mean, seriously?

My favorite shoes are:
drying under the heater.

Can you use chopsticks?
Yup.

Do you prefer beaches or forests?
Beaches, bitches!