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rez



Last Updated: 8/12/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 33
Sign: Libra

City: Zoopocalypse
State: Montana
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/30/2004

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[18 Sep 2008 | Thursday] 

Current mood:  mischievous
Sure, it starts with a few offshore data havens, it always does.

Then comes Google Intelligence, Google Currency, the Artificial Google Archipelago (8 miles off the coast of دبيّ, or Dubaīy, or Dubai), the Google Navy.

Google then changes its name to DeepLight Intel.

Google/DeepLight then buys Dubai.

Google/DeepLight then deploys the Google Low-Orbit Full Scale Nuclear Exchange Security Array, decides it wants the American continent. "Needs more server space", naturally.

Google/DeepLight's titanic Information Sovereignty Defense Automated Weapon Platforms (aka "The Google Manifest Destiny Project") then emerge from their ocean floor hideaway, all barnacle-covered legs, behemoth ordnance and big as a mountain range, secretly built years earlier in the deepest parts of the Mariana Trench, by a team of autistic nano-enhanced dolphin architects wearing Google environmental protection/manipulation exoskeletal suits.

The Eastern Seaboard of the United States falls after a few hours of Google bombardment, President Palin surrendering to Google/DeepLight shortly thereafter, Canada following suit.

Google/DeepLight then, deep in the Yukon Territory, begins construction of the "Google Bridge to the Sun". No one is quite sure what this is yet, but all agree that it is Green.

Sure, laugh. While you can.


[EDIT: Inspired by a conversation with my wife, who planted the idea seed for this meandering story of impending Google doom]


Currently listening:
Romance Bloody Romance: Remixes & B-Sides
By Death from Above 1979
Release date: 2005-11-22
Emmie
Emily Powell

 
Better a Google-based plan of world domination than one led by John McCain and Sarah "I Can Skin a Moose Barehanded" Palin.

But that's just my opinion. I feel Google would be a gentle master.

Besides, it's impossible to say "Google" in an aggressive tone and sound at all convincing.
 
Posted by Emmie on [18 Sep 2008 | Thursday] - 4:54 AM
[Reply to this
Lonny
Lonny Chant

 
awesome.

i esp like the "team of autistic nano-enhanced dolphin architects". very funny.
 
Posted by Lonny on [18 Sep 2008 | Thursday] - 10:40 AM
[Reply to this
anticybr

 
Reminds me a bit of Tesco invading Denmark...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfSi0D7KESk
 
Posted by anticybr on [19 Sep 2008 | Friday] - 1:16 AM
[Reply to this
rez

 
Oh sure, it's a harmless enough name until your staring down the barrel of a Google Kalashnikov.
 
Posted by rez on [19 Sep 2008 | Friday] - 6:11 PM
[Reply to this
Ethan
Ethan McMahon

 
I can't wait to start work in the Goog-log! :D

-Ethan
 
Posted by Ethan on [04 Oct 2008 | Saturday] - 12:42 PM
[Reply to this