At this time last year Cedric Benson had been left for dead. He had been judged an unworthy teammate, a coward and a complete bust by those who should have known him best. That's why when Cedric Benson ran wild for 189 rushing yards Sunday against the very team (and teammates) that had made these evaluations of his worth it re-affirmed my faith in second chances, perserverance and determination. Watching the smile on his face after he finally reached the end zone after an afternoon of chewing up the gridiron and flattening Chicago Bears said something about true joy and believing in yourself. We got a unique chance to see that rarest of things in this modern society: a resurrection.
Cedric Benson is by all accounts a strange cat. Aloof, unusual.... strange. And in ultra-conformist, close-knit patricarchal societies like the NFL (and your local country club) there is no worse crime than strange. The NFL is a league populated by rapists, woman beaters and more than a few murderers. But these crimes are covered up, or in cases where they can't be covered up, forgiven, as long as one remains a faithful soldier and is willing to crash into other human beings unquestioningly and fearlessly. In short, no crime is unforgivable in the NFL if you can block, tackle, throw, run, or catch the ball. Any crime except one.... being strange.
Cedric Benson is a jazz player in a league full of hard rock drummers who know less about a creative fill than the drummer for AC-DC. When Cedric Benson was drafted with the 4th pick in the 2005 NFL draft he did what a lot of players who suddenly realize they're millionaires do: he cried. But something was different in his demeanor. If you watched closely he didn't appear to be crying tears of joy. And when a microphone was shoved in his face he didn't utter the well-scripted cliches other top draft picks rehearse so well. He said something like "Look what they made me do."
Look what they made me do.
Is it possible we had another University of Texas dreadlocked, pot-smoking Hippie running back on our hands? A man who didn't feel that his genius for carrying an inflated leather ball and running over other men in a blind rage to acquire ground obligated him to do so, or was ultimately even a useful application of a body and and a will akin to a musician's talent?
To complicate matters Benson held out on signing his contract and didn't appear to work very hard when he did join the team. His heart just didn't seem to be in it. He didn't run very hard and he shied away from making hard contact. These are unforgivable football sins, especially on a team that already had Thomas Jones, a workout fiend who stays in top shape year round, lives in the weightroom and will run blindly into a brick wall to gain one inch. Thomas Jones was loved by his teammates and Benson was, at the very least, misunderstood.
After fumbling in the Super Bowl, Benson's fate with the Bears was sealed in the summer of 2008 when he was arrested on alcohol related offenses twice in one month. I worked and made my living in the booze industry for most of my life so I won't be a hypocrite by either defending or condemning anyone for an alcohol-related offense, but what I will tell you is he wasn't operating a vehicle in either case and there's good evidence to suggest that all he was really guilty of was being a dreadlocked black man hanging out with white women and seeming to have too good of a time.
Last September the Cincinnati Bengals took a chance and signed Cedric Benson. And for the rest of that season Benson played well above average. So well, in fact, when this season began he was considered by some to have a chance of being one of the NFL's better running backs. But others were more cautious. Still others were just downright negative about Cedric Benson and wanted to warn anyone that had the audacity to believe in him that he is a coward, a criminal and a weirdo.
As a Bears fan I can understand the frustration. But when Benson started running over opposing defenses like a Sherman Tank it should have been a time for one of those infamous cliches sports is famous for about effort, determination, hard work and improbable comebacks. But instead it just fueled the growing resentment and even hatred some Bears fans had for a player they think has wronged them and their beloved team in some personal way.
So, this Sunday when Benson insisted upon staying on the field and running over the team, and in some cases, teammates, who had judged him so harshly, even after his own team had the game well in hand, it did seem personal. And who can blame him?
When he finally scored a touchdown and Chad Ochocinco came over to hug him, Benson was where you might typically expect to find him: in a corner by himself. But when Cedric Benson finally smiled for the national audience that had witnessed him use the team that had given up on him as his personal highlight reel, it said everything that is good about second chances, believing in yourself and insisting on following your own drumbeat even when those around you are marching in lock-step formation.
Maybe it's just possible Cedric Benson has done what a lot of people refuse to do in this society: grow up. Maybe some Bear's fans need to do the same.