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New
Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 50!
I
am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too
old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42
to join the military. They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to
fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be
able to join a military unit until you're at least
35.
For
starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex
every 10 seconds. MATURE guys only think about sex a
couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy.
Young
guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky
soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I
can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and
maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for
a while.
An
18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10
a.m. AGE 50 PLUS guys always get up early to pee so what the hell.
Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since
I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical
SOB....
If
captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget
where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number
would be a real
stretch.
Boot
camp would be easier for old guys. We're used
to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft
food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've
been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the
house, away from the screaming and
yelling.
They
could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been
in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after
completing basic
training.
Actually,
the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've
never seen anyone outrun a
bullet...especially, one I shot.
An
18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a
pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a
baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of
his head.
These
are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a
little more about life before sending them off into harm's
way.
Let
us older guys track down those dirty rotten coward
terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a
couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and
automatic weapons who know that their best years are
already behind
them.
***How
about recruiting Women over 50 ....with PMS !!! You think
Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!! If
nothing else, put them on patrol....we will
have it all secured the
first night!
2:48 AM
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