Well it's over...officially.  We have just finished the last of our 6 weeks on the road with Easyriders and even though everyone is in much need of some rest and a few Rolaids, you can't help but feel a little sad when you get up the next morning after the show and everyone is gone.  But before I saturate you with the ending....let me start at the beginning............
Since our blogs were getting more and more normal sounding and well, that's just not very rock & roll, I decided to bring Heather back out on the road with us for one more show.  That's a sure fire way to ensure that something crazy will happen and we can all be entertained for the weekend. Jeff and Heather pulled up to my house just before his truck turned back into a pumpkin at midnight Thursday night.  Since I was already climbing into bed, I showed Heather where the computer was so she could "Facebook" her life away and Jeff a power outlet so he could continue to talk on the phone for the rest of the evening to the "mystery person" on the other end. 
I love getting up the next morning and trying to solve the mysteries of "what happened" the night before based on the "clues" you find laying around.  So here's what I find: an empty bottle of wine, 2 cell phones....both dead, my computer which has overheated from being on all night and is melting before my very eyes, and 2 Arkansas rednecks passed out....one on the couch and one on the floor.  It took me a while to get them awake enough to get in the truck and pass out.  I mainly worry about them falling down the stairs, but once the truck is loaded and the doors are closed, I know we're good to go....all but one thing: no trailer lights! It took ole Jeffro a while to wire on a new plug he found under the seat in the truck, but once he did he plugged that sucker in only to find out it is the wrong one so I headed to the hardware store to get a replacement.  I offered to do this one, but he said NO! because he was clearly frustrated with the situation and come hell or high water....this shit is gonna work....dammit! So I made a sandwich and watched Judge Judy til he was finished and we all piled in the truck and set out for Columbus, OH. 
It was a short trip (for us). Only about 6 hours or so and I drove way too fast because I was trying to make it to a sushi place before it closed. I pulled in with 1 minute to spare, but I was too late. So I settled for a burger and a grape snowcone.....dropped the kids off early and I blazed ass home.  Sorry. I don't know where that came from.
I gave Heather (Mini-Merch) a little pep talk before we got there this time about trying not to drink so much so she can get up in time to make it to the show because if she misses the bus to this show, she can't exactly walk there because according to Jeff Jeff, it's more than 6 miles. She agreed and suprisingly went straight to the room.  Now I'm feeling a little confused and a little bad because she's never really listened to me before so I didn't really think the pep talk would work and we'd just brace ourselves for the drunken debauchery that was sure to follow, but when my plan backfired and actually worked I felt like I had really created a major party foul. 
After a long night of "Facebooking" she finally crashed out around 4am and we both raised up at about 10am red-eyed and jacked up....ready to start the day. Jeffro and I decided to go early and set up at around 1pm because the show was opening at 5pm and we wanted to get a line check to make sure everything worked...not to mention it's a pain in the ass to find a place to load in and move that trailer around.  We got mildly harrassed by the security which is normal and got everything unloaded in record time.  After I dropped the trailer and got back in the building, I looked to the side of the stage to see my ex from Full Throttle Saloon and his new/but slightly used girlfriend setting up their booth. Fabulous. I decided to pretend like that part of the convention center didn't exist. It worked most of the weekend. 
The rest of the crew got there maybe 30 minutes before our first set and I was wishing we would've just came with them because we didn't get a sound check anyway. We started our show about an hour after the show opened so when time came for us to set up the stage, we started plugging in everything and tuning guitars so we could get started.  Now I love these guys that run this downstairs stage. They're super cool people, but sometimes the gear doesn't always work like it should. We immediately had problems.  I heard a whole side of speakers cut out and then they start running around like ants after you light a firecracker and throw it on the ant pile.  I always wondered if the ants were just having a panic attack or if they were actually starting to rebuild and "defend their queen". Which brings me to the question: Do ants have feelings?  There's no telling really because to my knowledge no one really speaks "ant" language, so.......so......wow, I really got off the beaten path on that one didn't I? Sorry. Now, what I loved most about our first performance was the fact that whenever Bruce would say (in his best DJ voice) ".........the Jasmine Cain Band!, all of the speakers would completely short out and there would be this horrible noise and then nothing would work.  So we'd try again....this time with the World Famous Bike Builder Ron Finch who is like a Keith Richards of the bike community because if he stops doing the shit that he does now...he'll die for sure. Ron Finch has always reminded me of a Leprachaun because of his bald head with his long goatee beard and that raspy smoker voice that you can barely hear but judging by the look in those crazy eyes...you can understand what he's saying. He is a dimented genius who doesn't think like most normal people do.  I think that has something to do with the acid.  Anyway, he was unveiling a new bike he calls the "Captivator" which I was supposed to help with because I'm good at taking things off. But before we got to that, he was going to re-attempt to bring on the band.  The "ants" were settling down and it looked like we could try again. So Ron says to everyone, "....................the Jasmine Cain Band!.... Again, total collapse of the sound system.  Now I'm just dying laughing because when things are that bad, you have to just laugh. There's nothing anyone can do.  Except for the ants. They're running like crazy.  Eventually we did get everything to work and we played our acoustic show and everything was great.  Next it was time to unveil Ron's new bike...The Captivator.  

Now that you know what Ron looks like, you get a better idea of what we're dealing with.  In his other band behind the lady's back, he has a great big doobie.  I'd put money on it.
The Captivator is somewhat a dedication to Michael Phelps who won several gold Olympic Medals this past year and then lost all his endorsement deals due to a photo that surfaced of him and a bong, and to the 53 year old woman who was to have swam the Atlantic Ocean but really didn't.  Aaaah, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat if you will.  The bike has a special suprise inside the gas tank that explains everything.  If you ever get a chance to see it, you'll laugh your ass off.  I'm sure photos will be coming soon on his website: www.finchscustoms.com.  The man....the master....a living legend.
That wasn't the only coolness that happened opening day.  Teo who does sound for SOS and who is a very close friend of mine got a new tattoo that I had the honor of helping to select.  He got an indian headdress on his right forearm that comes all the way down to the inside of his wrist and it looks amazing.  Brian Adams (not that guy) did the work and it was amazing. 
The closing of the show on the first day was followed by a mad dash to that damn sushi place that is never open and finally we were able to get in.  The Arkansas rednecks were more into the hotel bar craziness than sushi extravaganza, so we dropped them off and Shawn, Teo, and I headed for the sushi place.  After we ate, we decided to drop in on the Skunkworkz party that was downtown.  It didn't take us as long to leave the party as it did to find it.  It was karaoke hell.  Everyone was there though and that made it pretty fun.  We split pretty fast and were back at the hotel by 1am.  Heather was nowhere to be seen at the bar and I asked Jeffro where she was.  He said she was in the hotel room in bed already.  I couldn't believe it!! This pep talk I had given her was really working!........or so I thought.  What REALLY happened was after a few shots of Jim Beam and a hit of some Kentucky bluegrass, the poor girl passed clean out at the bar with her head on the counter.  Somehow, the bar staff wasn't as worried about serving a 19 year old and getting fined as much as they were having a customer passed out at the bar and getting fined.  So Jeffro was trying to revive her and get her out of there. The cops were all around and were questioning the situation and just when Jeffro thought they were doomed...Heather perked up and found a bag of donuts.  She fed the cops donuts for the next several minutes and made them laugh enough to where they forgot about her being drunk or underage and so Jeff carried her to the room and she passed out.  So much for the pep talk.
The next day we had to bail kind of early because our first set was at 1pm.  The sound system worked alot better for that one and in the middle of the show I looked out into the crowd to see a top hat towering above the masses.  BEAN'RE!!! Bean're had driven all night from Daytona, Florida just to be there at the show and everyone was so happy to see him.   The Limpnickie Lot welcomed him with open arms and Bobby from Indian Larry Legacy had a room for him. Everybody loves Bean're and it truly feels like an event when he's there.  That guy has some serious mojo working for him.
Several different things were going on at the same time, Michael Lichter was snapping photographs of various bikes, Bean're was well...being Bean're, Lady Victoria (the famous westler) was flexing her muscles, the Limpnickie lot was skateboarding on their ramp, I was rollerskating and handing out cupcakes for Valentines Day, and Jimmy Van Zant was preparing for their show in the auditorium.  The place was packed out with people and the bike builders were signing autographs for fans while Ron Finch snuck out back for an occassional toke. It was a huge success and everyone was thoroughly entertained. 
Saturday night is always a big deal back at the hotel because (again) they have karaoke hell and a full bar.  That's the recipe for disasterous success.  It's amazing what a little liquid courage can do because big burly biker guys who swear up and down they'll never get up and sing karaoke somehow end up on the stage with a microphone and the back up music to love shack.  I don't know how that happens.  Most of the time they don't even know what they're doing up there. They don't even try to sing the song, they just hold the mic and occassionally say something like "Bang Bang Bang Me Baby" (REAL lyrics are: Bang, bang, bang, on the door baby)  Close enough. One guy didn't care about the background music. He just held the mic and waited til the music stopped and then sang his own song, Long-haired Country Boy.  He was the hit of the night. The other ironic hit was a considerably hefty woman who sang (VERY seriously) Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Awesome.  Heather decided it was time to debut her singing abilities so with the flip of some blond hair and a dash to the stage she launched into Tush from ZZ Top......a little too early.  The music hadn't really started yet, but when it did...well, Heather was waiting for nothing.  It didn't exactly go together, but still entertaining.  Nobody knew Heather could clog dance until Cotton-eyed Joe blasted over the sound system (which made the speakers sound like they were about to explode).  Again, she had everyone's attention. 
Well, I can only stand so much karaoke hell and even though I wanted to attend an after party called (strangely enough) Hell's Cupcake, I got a text from Bean're who was already there and told me it was a swingers party, so I stayed away from the oversized girls in the chain mail and mesh clothing.  The only reason I really wanted to go was because I was hungry and thought a cupcake would be good.  I was wrong. I've never been so wrong.
Bean're joined us at the bar and we hung out for a little while. Teo laughed at the karoke stars in all their glory and I watched his arm hairs raise up on all the sour notes.  We shared some beef nachos that we all paid for later (not in a monitary way) and crashed out for the night.  Heather was nowhere to be seen.
Around 4:30am I got a phone call in the hotel from Earl (Heather's ex husband who wishes he was still her husband, but they are like poison for each other, so they can't even be around each other, but they still love each other and call each other and are jealous of each other's new boyfriends/girlfriends so they're gonna drink themselves into oblivion until neither one of them knows their own name guy) He asked where Heather was and I said she hadn't come in yet so he starts raging on me about how he bought her flowers for Valentines Day and now she's drunk with a bunch of dudes and won't answer his calls and...and...and... And that's when I had to draw the line. I don't get a lot of sleep anyway, but when I get woken up at 4:30am by a problem that doesn't even concern me, I get a little grouchy.  I think I simply stated that it wasn't my problem and I didn't care.  Almost immediately after I hung up the phone, there was a large crash into the door and Heather was there.....kinda.  She tried to knock but then decided to go somewhere else.  Jeff finally hoisted her back in the room at about 5am and she headed for the bathroom where I think it was another night (like the night before) of praising the porcelain god. I was out again by the time she actually made it to her bed.
The next morning I met Bean're for breakfast. He said he was probably heading out for Louisville and wanted to say goodbye.  He's such an adorable guy.  At the Bob Evan's restaurant the waitress patted him on the back and without looking at him asked, "Can I get you ladies anything else?"  Nobody said a word. The uncomfortable silence must've alarmed her because she looked down to see this bearded lady and immediately started apologizing. I was laughing and Bean're was just shaking his head. 
The Sunday show is always a little slower, but we decided it was going to be the best of all time. We played all our hard rockers acoustic style of course. People get a kick out of that.  I rollerskated around and got everyone to sign our poster board schedules from the year and I will hold them very close to my heart.  It was a great tour and a great year.  There is still very much a following for bikers and biker events. These are hardcore people.  They don't have excuses and they don't let things get them down. They enjoy life because they know that is what is most important. 
We tore out of there in record time and I got pictures with everybody.  Some were happy, some were crying, some were zoned out, and some were just drunk or stoned out of their minds, but we all made it and we're all still just as tight as we were when we started.  And so continues this crazy circus freak act that travels across the country with a few guitars and a whole lot of characters. I woke up this morning to a large plant that was blocking the front door of my room.  I have no idea where it came from. I put it on a chair next to Heather's bed where she's passed out and constantly swatting at the branches that tickle her face.  The rollerskates are packed and the trailer is loaded and we're heading back to Tennessee.