well.. i havent written in a while.. maybe thats why i feel so frustrated and i feel like im going to burst.. maybe its my job.. or the personal life.. i dont know.. but if i dont release it.. ill keep it bottled up and we all know thats not good..

anyway .. im planning a trip to nj to see jeff for his birthday at the end of september.. however its a lot more to rent a car than i remembered.. and my car wont make it and there is no radio anymore anyway.. haha..

so justin is in iowa for a month or so .. for those of you who dont know.. justins my little gay buddy up here.. no .. no replacement for jeff.. just a friend..


anyway .. my job is awsome.. i love it at times and other times.. grrr.. its work .. haha.. i have been burned and have so many new scars but hey .. thats what happens when your a cook right .. hahaha.. from time to time i have to remember that .. the check coming in is pretty decent.. and just to relax..

ahh.. relax.. havent done that in a while but ya know.. with everything going on .. im just staying positive and focused on what i want.. read status message if you dont know..

i just wish that some of the people i work with werent such idiots.. and ya know.. even though my shifts usually run longer than usual, i get to go home at the end of the day and i dont have to deal with the idiots anymore.. i dont have to deal with the people who actually make my skin crawl .. and make me nausous and creep me out.. than when i do go home.. it makes me even more aware of why some people who i love with all that i am .. were so cranky and didnt want to deploy again.. i couldnt imangine .. going to.... well.. im not going to get into it..

im just going to say .. that .. work.. is work .. the summer is finally here.. although im sure it will be snowing soon .. haha.. and go have a little fun before work..



i know your reading this.. i love you .. how can you forgive your friends for all the backstabbing and bullshit they put you threw but you hate your wife so much.. the one who has been there for you time and time again .. who will always be here for you .. and on top of that.. loves you more than you know.. i know your hurting and so am i .. and when your ready.. ill be here.. i said in good times and bad.. in sickness and health till death do us part.. and .. i meant that.. take the time.. clear your head.. ill be here when your ready..

i love you