My first trip to Ottawa to perform at the much talked about Absolute Comedy Club.

It is a great club, and on a Thursday they had 100 people.  In a club this size, it just about fills it out. 

 They are there for a good time. Great laughers and lots of fun, but at the end of the show, its over.  They leave like there is 5 min left in a Senators playoff game or they're photographers at a Stephen Harper press conference. 

 Does everybody work at 6am in a government position?  Even the other comics left the club by 11pm.  Free pool, cheap booze and the comics are gone?

I was promised PSSs or "post show sluts".  Where were they?  I thought I was going to get rowdy with some of the other local comics and nurse a hangover with a shitty piece of pizza from an out of the way 24hr restaurant. 

I have taken 2 vacation days from my day job. I want to get drunk, I want to see the town, I want to eat, drink, and have rude but interesting conversations with other comics, transients, or recently released mental patients.

This is a plea to anyone living in Ottawa to please save the image I am about to leave your town with.  Please somebody somewhere show me a good time.  Live a little, stay out past your bedtime so I can feel like I did something while I was here.

I want to come back to Toronto with at least 1 story!

I feel like I am in a trading spaces nightmare.  The worst thing that could happen to somebody here is if they had their walls painted eggshell white instead of snow white.

If you are reading this and know somebody in Ottawa,  tell them to find me, and show me that this city is something more than beauracrats, politicians, vegans and well maintained lawns.

Get somebody to show me that there is an underbelly, or at least a pulse here somewhere.

HELP!!!