Hey all,

I remember a while back, a certain band member of a band I was in was having a conversation with a certain band member of another band about lyrics. The topic: to revise or not revise. Does revision dull the passion of the initial expression of a thought, the raw emotion of it? Or are those qualities refined by revision?

I have to say that I agree with my former bandmate: revision is crucial. After all, lyrics are not just spur of the moment outbursts, whatever just happens to fly out of our mouthes at any given time. And besides, I always thought that the lyrics of this band (to remain nameless) kinda totally blew.

In that spirit, I have continued work on the lyrics I had shared in the previous blog (ugh, blog....) and I would again appreciate any feedback.

For one thing, the title has been downsized to "Abattoir". It's pretty blunt, I know. Just lays it all out for everyone to see. But I believe that "political" lyrics require a certain amount of transparency, one of the few cases that subjective interpretation is, shall we say, less welcome. Anyway, here they are.

ABATTOIR
the roots of cruelty lie in
an inability to see
our visceral realities.
our everyday atrocities
by any other name, it still seems as obscene to say:
"mine are not in the abattoir, neither poor nor dying in the war, so I am unconcerned"
when will the world see things this way?
perverse perspectives still pervade.
we're left cold by blood that's lost.
it cries out from the ground.

I feel like the meter is more concrete and managable now. Also, it feels more like verse rather than prose. Trying to fit what I had before to music was difficult, but these lyrics have been much easier to work with. But I'd hate to think the changes are purely practical; I genuinely like these lyrics better. And it's also more concise (70 words, 313 characters vs 80 words, 365 characters). Hardcore rule #1: shorter is better.

Lay it on me, people.

- Jamie