I’m in a blah mood today just woke up that way and it got worse form there. I’m going to try to turn it around very soon. Seems I’m good at pissing a certain someone off, I don’t want to do it just seems so easy to do. I’m also apparently good at manipulation something I’m not trying to do but apparently I do real well. All I want to do is be happy and successful in my life and for a time being I was really happy then things changed and now I have just been going through the motions and emotions of life. I’m still trying to figure it out. Sure I’m hurt and down but I need to get my ass up dusts it off and get over it. It’s just harder then I thought it would be this time. I was there for major events and got attached to the family, which makes it much harder then if it was just the one person. I really wish I was a cold-hearted asshole then life would be so much easier. I could just move on and not give a fuck and not feel any pain but that’s not me. And I know she isn’t that way either not trying to imply that either. Maybe I should try to become more like that, but right now I’m trying to put my faith in God and hope for the best.