In the worst example of backstabbing since Brutus stuck a knife between the shoulder blades of Caesar, the New York Mets have traded away the greatest player in their history in exchange for some talentless bum. Joe Smith is no longer a New York Met.

Fans wept openly across the tri-state area as the news began to sink in. "It is catastrophic. I believe the world as we know it is now over," said one dazed Joe Smith fan. "I will never again utter the name of the Mets General Manger who has betrayed Joe the Blessed One and all of his believers. For all of eternity this swine of a GM will only be known as He Whom We Name Not." Another was heard to mutter, "We lose the best pitcher in team history for a putz named Putz. Good grief!"

Many young fans gathered outside of Joe Smith's home, puddles of tears gathering around their feet. When Joe went to try to console them they began to cry, "Say it ain't so, Joe! Say it ain't so!" He could only reply, "I'm afraid it is."

Widespread apocalypse is now expected across New York. Many soothsayers believe the Mets have damned themselves for all of eternity. They deserve no better.