RE-POST FOR MY NEW FRIENDS 

CHAPTER EXCERPT FROM: White Men Can’t Hump (As Good As Black Men) 

           So many of the questions I receive about my book White Men Can’t Hump (As Good As Black Men) revolve around "Sexual Self-Help." I always get a chuckle out of those questions, but folks, I am not Dr. Ruth (though I am flattered by some of the Comments). White Men Can’t Hump is basically a mixture of real American history, current events, pop cultural, and my personal observations and experiences (minus "little-black-book" details). So to be fair, and to give folks a taste of what  White Men Can’t Hump is all about, I’ve decided to start periodically Posting some chapter excerpts. White Men Can’t Hump is nearly 500 pages long, and is broken into seven Sections. Each Section contains four or five chapters, and the following excerpt is the first two pages the 20 page chapter: "America’s Biggest Myth: Size Doesn’t Matter."

Before you get started there’s a few Terms & Definitions you’ll need in order to fully understand this chapter.

NOTE: There are over 50 unique Terms & Definitions listed in the beginning of this book.

One-Dimensional- Selfish men who only want fellatio or intercourse.

Multi-Dimensional- Men who are willing to do whatever it takes to reach "Point O" (Orgasm).

ENJOY!

Chapter 1 America’s Biggest Myth: "Size Doesn’t Matter"

"Everything’s bigger in America. We’ve got the biggest cars, the biggest houses, the biggest companies, the biggest food, and finally the biggest people."

Morgan Spurlock

From the Documentary

"SUPER SIZE ME"

          You can’t argue with that. America is truly the land of Bigger is Better. In America Bigger is Better is the primary means of expressing one’s personal success. The biggest bank account buys you the biggest purchases. The bigger the price tag on an item, the bigger the impression made on those who see it. That’s why the Penis is the most amazing item in America. In America, the Penis is the only item of significance I can think of where Average is considered equal to Above Average. I’m talking about an item that’s part of everyday life for more than two-thirds of our population. You not only have to factor in men, but you also have to factor in their partners. That means about two-thirds of our population handles a Penis on a daily basis and Average is still considered equal to Above Average. That almost seems un-American doesn’t it? I’m not talking about the extremes (i.e., EXTREMELY LARGE vs. extremely small). I’m talking about Average vs. Above Average. Average is considered equally desirable, equally acceptable, and equal in every way to Above Average. If you’re a parent and your child told you the ’C’ he got on his math test was equal to an ’A’, would you accept that bullshit? Hell No! Why Not? The answer is, all grades are obviously not created equal. When you say Size Doesn’t Matter, you’re saying that all Penises are created equal. The gist of the blanket statement Size Doesn’t Matter is that all Penises are created equal and therefore Average and Above Average are the same thing.

           I’m sure that’s the case for many women. I’m sure many women feel that "It’s not what you got; it’s how well you use it." I’m also sure there are just as many women out there who feel the exact opposite. I’m sure there are many women out there who’ll tell you that Average doesn’t do shit for them. I’m sure there are many women out there who feel that "It’s what you got and also how well you use it." Unfortunately, these women don’t have a voice. The Average advocates control the airwaves. The Average advocates love to make women feel dirty if they desire something that’s Above Average. The result of this is 50% women are speaking on behalf of all women. The truth is they’re only speaking for half of all women or maybe less.

         I’ll get right to the point. This whole Size Doesn’t Matter thing is all about making Average Men feel Above Average. The initial intent was well meaning, but the end result has actually backfired. What started out as well intended deception has created generations of lazy, selfish men. If honesty had been the policy from day one, men would have entirely different attitudes and wouldn’t be nearly as selfish in the bedroom. Honesty would’ve forced Average men to expand their playbooks, consult their partners, and be less One-Dimensional (See Terms & Def’s). If Average Men had known from day one that at least 50% of all women think Size Does Matter, they would work harder at other things in order to be competitive. They’d become more innovative and they would be forced to become Multi-Dimensional (See Terms & Def’s). Instead, women have let them off of the hook, and then women have the nerve to complain that their partner is selfish.

          I’m not saying that men who are Above Average don’t need to work, or don’t need to consult their partner, or don’t need to be Multi-Dimensional. Every man should work at it, every man should consult their partner, and every man should be Multi- Dimensional. What I’m saying is, men who are Above Average have more upside, so therefore, when properly trained by their partner, bring more to the table. It’s like the saying you always hear from NFL scouts, G.M’s, and coaches: "You can’t coach Speed, either you got it or you don’t, and Speed changes the dimensions of the game." Now then, just substitute the word Speed with Size. This whole thing came about because of flawed medical research, dishonesty during surveys, and an unwillingness to hurt some people’s feelings and egos. The result is countless doctors, countless therapists, and countless surveys, all make the same blanket statement on behalf of all women that Size Doesn’t Matter.

         These professionals rarely, if ever, say: "To some women size matters and to some women size doesn’t matter." These blanket statements on behalf of all women do more bad than good because they mislead women into settling for a Size that may not suit them, and this could lead to future unhappiness. Wouldn’t it be much more beneficial to women if these doctors and therapists made blanket statements such as Dress Sizes Don’t Matter or Breast Sizes Don’t Matter. If these doctors and therapists made blanket statements in these areas (Dress Sizes and Breast Sizes), they could actually save some lives, which is what I thought doctors and therapists were supposed to do. Instead, they mention offhandedly that women should be comfortable with their bodies, but then they mention with absolute certainty that Penis Size Doesn’t Matter. I’ll tell you why they do this bullshit later in this chapter.

Always remember my friends: "Life is too short to Hate"