If divorce rates truly are around 50% in the US, I would like to pose a thought of another 50% probability--the flip of a coin.  I'm not saying the probability of your marriage lasting is as easy as a flip of a coin, but what if the flip of a coin could greatly increase your chances above the 50%. 

Say you're getting to the point where you're considering asking a person to marry you.  Take a coin from your pocket and flip it.  If you call it, you need to dedicate the rest of your life to never asking the question, "Could I have found someone better?"  You will focus on the person you're with and making that relationship committed and as good as it can be.

The answer to that question will always be the same, you could have done better.  There will always exist someone that is better for you and would have made you happier.  The problem is though, could you ever even recognize one of those people if you found him or her?  Seriously, if you think you found your soul mate, you probably didn't.  How is it possible then that your "soul mate" happened to live close to you or have known one of your friends.  Did you dedicate your life to scouring the earth finding your soul mate?  Seriously, if you have a "soul mate" all you have is someone that makes you happy enough that you're satisfied.

This is not being pessimistic but realistic.  If that question goes through your mind, it will constantly instill doubt about your relationship especially during periods of struggle.  This is part of our mentality though, in this country--we can always have something better. 

Say you have a happiness scale between 0 and 100.  You're dating someone that you would consider a 30; obviously you should consider finding someone else.  In the future, say you have someone you consider an 85.  You've still got 15 points on your scale, but can you consider this good enough to be happy?  If you decide you can't, what is the risk you're taking.  How much time are you going to give up for a 67, 54, 78, 82, etc....  Would you even be able to find another person in the limitations to people you can be introduced to that could score above an 85?  So say you've passed on some of these "higher" scored individuals but you never match or exceed someone in your past.  Are you ok with that now or are you going to constantly wish you would have chosen that person when you had the chance? 

This is my advice.  Decide a level of happiness that you can be content with.  Know that there will always be someone out there that could have been better, but that you are ok with not looking for or needing that person.  Be prepared to fully commit to that person you're with.  If you can't decide, flip the coin!

If two people are flipping a coin there are 4 possibilities that I think would closely reflect the possibility of divorce.  If both fail to call the flip, neither will be ready to fully commit and likely to fail.  If one fails and one doesn't, I think this is close to the 50/50 possibility of divorce we're near now.  If both actually call the flips, a 25% chance, I think that relationship will have greater than a 75% chance of lasting. 

I know the premise of this whole blog is a little bit ridiculous, but I think falling in to the trap of always needing something better can be as equally ridiculous.