By Tea Krulos
Photos by Bruce Berna
Well, I’m sad to say that I missed the last bout. I was staked out
on a story assignment in scenic Minneapolis, but even my hired team of
temps, I’m also sorry to say, have failed me. They have all been fired
across the board, banished to menial tasks like changing light bulbs
and writing html code in the ThirdCoast Digest offices. (Joke!)
This week, in lieu of my standard bout recap, I’ll review the basic
facts from the April 18 bout, mention some Bruiser related events, and
try to offer my Krulos brand (patent pending) insight into next month’s CHAMPIONSHIP SHOWDOWN BOUT.
SPRING SKATE BOUT APRIL 18
The Rushin Rollettes had a big, big win over the Shevil Knevils with a score of 119-44.
Jackie O’ Nihilate led the team of Rollettes jammers with 36 points. Moby Nipps led the Shevils with 13 points, while Artillery Shell scored 12.
Apparently the last jam of the game featured a good old fashioned ruckus.
“My favorite memory of the game was seeing our captain Becky the
Butcher take down Rollette captain Jackie O’Nihilate in the final
moments of the game and the ensuing Shevil/8s rumble!” Knevil
co-captain Terror Lapinski told me.
The Maidens were also victorious with an 84-71 win over the Crazy 8’s.
The Maidens triple threat of jammers consisted of Rejected Seoul (36 points), Romaniac (24 points), and Super Hera (21 points). Cookie Ciano led the 8’s with 32 points.
The 8’s suffered the injury of team (and league) powerhouse blocker
Servin Justice. Justice explained her injury in an e-mail.
Crazy 8's blocker/pivot Servin Justice (right) suffered a knee injury.
Knevil Captain Becky the Butcher takes out Jackie O'Nihilate
“I hurt my knee. This past week has been nothin’ nice … I have no idea which fall it happened, or if it was a fall at all. But, I do know it was the first period sometime — although I still kept skating through the pain. Slamela says she thinks she saw me do a weird hyperextension of it when taking out a stinkin’ pink girl — but who knows. My doctor says due to all my tough, muscular legs and extreme flexibility it only seems like a strain, and I should be on skates soon.” Justice continued by explaining how her brain has mixed feelings about rushing back to the track.
“Basically, as soon as my body tells me it’s okay, I’ll be rolling again. Right now one side of my brain is saying, ‘go to practice tonight and skate!!!’ where the other side of my brain is like, ‘No! You’re still hurt, take your time, you’re only human!’ So we’ll see what the future holds for Justice!” Justice wrote.
NEW TITLE!
Our readers voted Derby Little Secrets as the new title of this column. We are currently working on a new column head and the title has a trademark pending. That means if anyone tries to swipe or claim it, the ThirdCoast Digest team of legal sharpshooters will hunt you down LIKE THE LANGUAGE STEALING DOGS THAT YOU ARE.