"Where were you when Michael Jackson died?" "Yeah, I was sat in my living room in my pants watching people's reactions to 2 girls 1 cup on youtube". Nice. It's pretty impressive how quickly the jokes came out. It's less impressive how funny they've been. Anyone got any that don't involve the word plastic?

I'm up in Newcastle at the moment because a couple of my mates from uni are finally getting married tomorrow. There's a picture of the venue on the back of the invitation with beautiful clear blue skies behind it. Presumably it was taken sometime in the early 80s. It's been a good day despite the weather - road trips are always fun and we got to go to OK Diner on the way up and have milkshakes, and saw the Angel of the North again. Unbelievably, bearing in mind I had to buy trainers for paintballing on the stag do, I left my smart shoes at home and am going to have to try and track some down in the morning. Pretty annoying seeing as I only need my smart shoes about once every 6 months. I'm starting to think I need organising. Talking of which, I'm pretty sure, once again, I'm going to be the only single person at the event, and while I'm resigned to this being the way things are from now on (though I am worried about making seating plans difficult for people), there's no need for hotels to punish me for it. The place we're at, I have to pay the same amount as a couple would, which I guess is fair enough because I'm taking up a whole room (it's nice - the bed is MASSIVE, there's free wifi, a widescreen telly, and I just had my first bath of the year) but you get the first night's meal thrown in, and it seems to me that in a fair world I would have two people's worth of food credit, or 20 quid knocked off the room. As it was I was pretty stuffed after one person's worth of food, but that's hardly the point. I'm going to try and eat 3 people's worth of breakfast to get them back for it. The only thing is I got my suit when I was 18 and the trousers don't fit as well as they used to at the best of times.

Anyway, best sleep now - I want to get up in time for a swim and a sauna before breakfast and still be nicely rested for my shoe quest.