Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.
Name: WKLT
Age: 31
Occupation: shitty-assed rock station
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: finding humor in fear
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Finally! A part of the news media in northern Michigan that knows that KLT's run by a bunch of assholes.
Last week, in a scathing editorial, The News-Review
newspaper in Petoskey, MI called out the geezer rocker because their
morning show misled their listeners into thinking that Halloween was
canceled. Omelette and Finster - who weren't named in the article,
which was nice, since all other media outlets up north whore them to
death - told their listeners that many towns in the area had banned
trick-or-treating because of the H1N1 outbreak. Many schools in
northern Michigan - including Traverse City - were all closed because
of fears of spreading the
disease.
As a result, parents called up their local Chambers of Commerce and even news outlets like the News-Review
to make sure Halloween hadn't been canceled. The paper was quick to
react to the unfunny prank by releasing the aforementioned editorial.
But 1/2 of the duo was quick on his keyboard to smear the News-Review's
editorial. Finster responded by saying "That last sentence reminds me
why I'm glad I'm in radio, and not a newspaper. Also the paper fails to
mention the 10's of thousands of dollars we have raised for A.C. Paw a
no kill animals shelter. The thousands for breast cancer,and all the
homeless people we have fed and clothed. But whos keeping track. Thank
you, and keep listening. Finster"
Hmmmmm... A "no kill animals shelter". Oh, and what's
one of the biggest organizations Howard Stern endorses? Oh, yes: The
North Shore Animal League, which is also a no-kill shelter.
Coincidence? Who the fuck knows...
Forever and ever, KLT has done a great job of
smearing shit upon their listeners. They call themselves "The Rock
Station" and ignore the most-important rock bands of the past two
decades, including Nine Inch Nails, KoRn, Slipknot, Breaking Benjamin
and most pre-Black Album Metallica. As a matter of fact, the only new
rock they play is from
the severely-overrated Nickelback and Kid Rock. Instead, KLT ODs on
bands nobody under the age of 50 cares about, including Foreigner,
Styx, Boston and REO Speedwagon.
However, KLT acts like they have nothing to worry
about, since they're #2 in the ratings. Mostly, it's due to the fact
that their competition, Northern Star's Classic Rock The Bear and Real
Rock 105 and 95-5's Traverse City stick is too close to Lake Michigan
and doesn't cover the real estate 97.5 out of Kalkaska does. Let's not
forget that the audience KLT panders to is either A) over the age of 50
(and Fortune Magazine recently
ranked the Cherry Capital as the third best place to retire) or B)
college age. However, in this article, the 'college' is none other than
the infamous Rachelle Wilkos School of White and Ghetto Trash Stupidity©®™ in Stamford, CT.
At that school, the only requirement for entry is that your home must have had wheels once attached to it.
But'cha know, I look at KLT's past, and they go
through morning shows like underwear. If I ain't mistaken, one year,
they had something like five different morning shows. I also look at
past morning jocks like Tim Murphy and the late Jim Ellis and think of
how they ended up off the station despite their popularity. Tim got
canned for bashing Arby's, who started sponsoring the station behind
his back.
Ellis got canned due to budget cuts. KLT's philosophy's simple: no
matter who's hosting the morning show, they'll always be #2.
Or so they think.
Now, it's a crowded house in the world of northern
Michigan rock radio. Ten years ago, KLT only had to worry about The
Bear and The Zone, which would have passed as a Hot AC these days. Now,
there's The Bear (which has seen better days), Real Rock (the former
Zone, which I haven't heard yet due to the fact that I'm nowhere near
northern Michigan, plus they don't stream online) and to a lesser
extent, 99.3 The Wolf out of Frankfort. Oh, yes! There's the MP3 player
and good 'ol Sirius/XM.
This very website began ten years ago because I felt
that people in northern Michigan deserved better in regards to radio.
Thanks to changes in technology, they are achieving that goal. Howard
Stern's now on Sirius, giving people an alternative to hearing his
clones. However, it's allowed those clones to maybe take some pointers
as to how to do their morning show. And sadly, by the looks of things,
Omelette and Finster are doing just that.
They have a chick news lady named "Union Kate" who does crazy stunts
for them, and if I'm not mistaken, they took some "misfits" (i.e.
Stern's "Wack Pack") on a bus trip to the last Super Bowl. Pretty soon,
they're going to invest the $1,500 needed to buy a Sybian to shove up
Kate's vagina hole on the air.
KLT might be happy now, but if they continue with the
way they're going, they're going to be dead in a decade. People of my
generation don't give two shits about a lot of the crappy music they
play, and advertisers will start treating them like they're treating
older-skewing Oldies and Adult Standards stations today. Judging by
their stations, Northern Broadcast don't give two shits about those
born after 1970. I heard somewhere that the Gokeys - the family from
North Dakota that own Northern Broadcast - are trying to sell, but with
our wonderful economy...
It's what O&F do that make me love Stern more.
Not long ago, he aired a bunch of prank calls that two of his
associates - Sal and Richard - made to a small daytime-only AM station
in North Carolina's "Tradio" show. The show's host - who happened to be
the station's owner - was infuriated over their calls, which included
an exploding grill and a man wanting a job collecting horse semen.
However, he had learned that Howard's website had linked to their
website and the small station got over 10 million hits. Needless to
say, the man was quite happy.
You see, those pranks are funny. However, H1N1 is
serious. It's killed over 6,000 people worldwide and 1,500 here in
America. What if this disease becomes as bad as AIDS?
That's when the laughter stops.
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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!