Sometimes I can't help but just sit here and think. I often get lost in my thoughts when im sitting here at the computer. Yes, I do my normal routine like check messages on facebook & myspace; read my numerious daily emails (mostly delete delete delete). And I sit here for a little while playing games just to pass the time. As I'm doing so, my mind is wandering constantly. I still can't get some things off my mind. This has been a very very rough year. As time ticks by, I know thing are only going to get more rough as family gets older and older. Some of my worst fears are getting closer and closer. I will never be ready for those things, no matter if I know the day will come.
Recently I've begin to notice how precious time can be. I've also noticed that timing, can be a bitch. For those in my family who may be reading this, you know exactly what I mean if you start to think back what has happend over the past several months that has had a major impact on our lives.
For those who are reading this that might have a bad judgment of character on me because of my choice of words in this, Please be warned, you may want to just click the little red X in the right corner. Im not worried about who's judging my character, my well being, or the things that come out of my mouth. I just dont want to deal with people flipping out on me because I decide to use a little profanity here and there. And i know what you thinking.. (if your worried about what people say, then don't say those thing), yeah yeah. I say what is on my mind.
Anywho..
Over the past several months, we've had a few deaths. My cousin Tim. Age 26, and my Uncle Jason, age 35.
Both of which, were too young to die. One for Medical reasons, and the other for "unknown" reasons. Its still under investigation. Except, we just aren't getting any fucking answers. In Dec of '05, we lost Grandpa Leo. In Jan '09 we lost my wifes grandfather William. Not to mention Last December, my Aunt Donna. Thats too many people. Too much for a family to have to go through in such a short amount of time. As much as I hate to say it, I know there will be more. Maybe not this month, this year, or next year. But its only a matter of time. Like i said before, Time can be nice, but it can also be a twisted bitch.
Its these times in life, we need to slow down, smell the roses. Enjoy one another. Love one another. Talk to one another. Get over your differences, make amense (sp?), Suck up your egotistical pride, forget the past, and live for a better life with each other. Because if you don't, one day, its all going to come back and bite you in the ass when your standing next to a hole in the ground with a bunch of family and friends asking yourself, "why couldn't I just say sorry?".
---Nik
:::To whom it may concern:::
You can run, but you can not hide. We will hunt you. We will have retribution. We will have answers. We will get the truth. Although you think that you have set yourself free from it all, you have anothing thing coming. You will never be forgotten. You will never forget. You will never be forgiven. Not by me at least. You will rue the day when everything comes crashing down around you. You can count on that.