... "One Man Band" is Indian for "DJ- Karaoke-style."  and it comes to your attention that it is not just your little brother who is obsessed with John Denver's hit, "Country Roads," but in fact the ENTIRE Indian subcontinent as well. 

... you're lying on the beach when suddenly drums begin and you look up to see a less-than-enthusiastic indian girl walking the tightrope that she and her brother have just erected on the sand while balancing a large stack of bowls on her head.

... the Arabian Sea is so salty that you can float on the waves without moving.  at all. 

... you eat dinner at a restaurant on the beach and they set off fireworks less than ten feet away from the rather worried-looking Russian tourists' table.

... in the afternoon you play cricket with the Indian men who work at the beach shack.  in the evening you watch crickets crawl through the desert bowl.  you eat the piece that you didn't see them walk over because if you didn't see it, it didn't happen.

... as you shave your legs in the shower, the room suddenly falls dark and all noises stop except the beating of the water against the tile floor.  you unflinchingly continue to shave your legs.  in the dark.

... your best friend's freckles are commonly mistaken for a skin disease by inquiring locals.

... you spend half an hour trying to impress upon Deepu, the Nepali boy at the beach shack, why on earth it's a good thing to get a tan.  he simply cannot wrap his head around why you think darker is better.

... while you eat your breakfast of mango puree juice and mango Kelloggs Corn Flakes, you look out at the courtyard and wonder why there aren't nets under the coconut trees.  you get your answer when you observe a small indian man shimmy up one of said trees with nothing more than a few bits of rope and a meat cleaver. 

... at the airport, you notice with distinct gratitude that the indian man sitting near you and your best friend is NOT staring.

... you try to carry the snake charmer that you've purchased with you onto the plane, but when the security man tells you it has to be checked, a problem solving discussion commences (he creates them; you solve them):

   Indian Man: It has to be scanned.

   Marie: Okay, scan it.  Then i want to put it in the suitcase.

   IM: It can just go by itself.

   M: No, I'm putting it in the case.

   IM: But the case is already locked.

   M: But i want it in the case, i don't want it to break.  I'm putting it in the case.

   IM: But madame, the case is already locked it cannot open.

   M: It's a plastic lock!  Break it!

   IM: But now it has to be scanned again.

   M: OKAY THEN SCAN IT AGAIN!!!!!

... you wave at the little indian girl that you walk by every day, and each time you do, she breaks into an ear-to-ear grin and bashfully, and then enthusiastically, waves back.

... you try to figure out how to say goodbye to the country.  you decide not to.

... you are going home today.

xo

mc