So I made this picture on my computer. It's a picture of a cock. A noninvasive, approachable, smiley cock. The cock is holding a sign that says "I Voted For Bush!" It's all really very clever. My picture has been deleted from MySpace. Twice. Apparently it's offensive.

Here's some other shit in my photo album:

A picture of Rosie the Riveter exclaiming not "We Can Do It!," but rather "Up to the Elbow!" It was designed, specifically, to mock and enrage "feminists," taking them down several pegs by defacing a cultural icon and herald of women's economic power to come, thereby reducing them to the level of silly dykes while making light of the plight of women during World War II and just poking fun at lesbians in general. This is MySpace approved.

A picture of myself, passed out, covered in drugs and paraphernalia. This is on there because I condone the gross abuse of substance. I think everyone should just shit, snort, and blaspheme until they either grow up or die. The dead ones will just strengthen the gene pool. This picture makes light of addiction and death and is available for viewing by anyone who clicks on it. Including your children. This photo is MySpace approved.

A picture I drew of breast cancer. It's essentially a tit with eyes and fangs. This is fucked up for obvious reasons. Approved.

Several pictures of me, on several occasions, nursing an entire bottle of whiskey. I'm clearly enjoying myself. Because alcoholism is fun. All MySpace approved.

I don't follow the logic. A cock--something most men have and just about everyone will handle at some point in their life--is attacked and banished while affronts to life in general are left untouched.

It's a miscarriage of justice, MySpace. In fact, I bet if I drew a picture of a superhero called The Miscarriage of Justice and gave him pink and red tights and a coat hanger, you'd leave it alone as long as I put it next to a picture of a sideways vagina doing math. Quit censoring silly shit, it makes you look like a twat. And quit sticking my cock in your memory whole. You fucking prostitute.