James and Keegan decided to leave the band. Thats why everybody looks so sad! I tried to keep it cool in front of the dudes but I cried. I cried good. I thought for a split second that this is that moment I was sure  was  going to happen when I finally strap on that huge yellow banana costume. "WHAT LUCK!" I thought.  "I'm not in the costume!"
   But thats exactly when my pants tore open down the back, under the crotch, up around the front a little and stopped just at the zipper, which was down. I wasn't wearing undershorts. That's right.  Time to make friends with your dick.
 With each sob, my exposed genital did a little bounce. A little "flop," really. My ass cheeks were said to ripple and expand when the emotional/physical over-reaction hit it's climax. Rachel showed up but I actually POOPED a little when she walked in and that got her really grossed out. She pretty much went right back out the door. Havn't seen her since, but the word on the street is that she paid cash money to have all of her universes-related memories erased.
Seems reasonable.

P.S.
 everybody please welcome Andy Davis to the show (if i got the last name right)
 tune in next week to find out what he's gonna do, who else may or may not get involved, get lots of up-to-the-nanosecond information and even some chips to eat


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